Serving on a Board

I know nothing about serving on a board and the details of a non profit organization, but have decided to volunteer my time to help a friend who has been doing it all on her own and desperately needs help and guidance. We have a board of four members, and we are at the beginning of the process of getting non profit status, which turns out to be far more complicated than I imagined. A lawyer has been involved but has done nothing so far and is charging the organization $6000!!! Catherine is the treasurer and trying to sort out the financial details, but Sharon has not kept good records and in the end, we are in the red, and are desperate for funds. We had a meeting two weeks ago and again tonight, and I find myself Vice President of the organization.

I am clearly way over my head, and of course all of us are out of our element. Catherine has a book 'Nonprofits for Dummies' and is reading it line by line and highlighting important segments. I find myself most preoccupied with ethical issues and that is not always of most relevant to the others on the board.

I wonder why I am involved with this venture. I have so much on my plate anyway and this commitment neither provides income or any significant satisfaction, yet here I am participating and contributing and writing minutes and offering opinions and I guess there must be something in it for me, which will reveal itself in time.

Twelve Hour Drive to Baltimore

Yesterday was painful but in general a successful day. We left Montreal around 1 AM after a delicious dinner of paella with Renee and Maurice, slept an hour, packed our belongings and Maya in the car, and were on our way in the wee hours of the morning. The streets in the city were not yet empty, but the freeways were clear (no snow on the ground). My GPS is not quite working, so we did get lost early on. I tried to stay up for a while, doing the New York Times crossword puzzle on Eric's iPad, but my eyes were heavy, and I fell asleep for a few hours. Eric woke me up around 6 and I drove the rest of the way home in the sunshine. The drive was easy, and I have learned that driving at night is much better than during the day, except that it is exhausting, and no one had much energy to do much for the rest of the day.

We stocked up at Trader Joe's on the way home, got organized and unpacked, and then devoted our afternoon to bed shopping, which turned out to be far more complicated than I thought. I had only ever bought inexpensive and unremarkable but serviceable beds, but this new bed of our is to be wonderful and last us for years and years. Beds can be $500 to thousands and thousands of dollars. It was difficult to decide, so we had some ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery and then Maya and I meditated at Yoga with Sid for the evening. Both of us felt marvelous after that.

Being back in Baltimore feels a little odd, after traveling so far away and back in such a short time and having experienced a different sort of universe these past few days. The office felt particularly odd. I had to deal with the police first thing in the morning ( a patient made up a prescription on the internet with my name on it and signed for me, so she is going to be charged, and I will be involved, since my name was forged) and the reality of complicated lives. I was happy to get to yoga for the 90 minute evening class, but once home with Maya asleep for the night, I directed my energies to unpacking boxes and organizing the living room, in preparation for our impending house guest.

First Snowfall

Whew! We just made it on the last metro and disembarked at our destination just in time. They closed the gates as we made it through. I was a little anxious over midnight drinks and dinner, and although Eric was relaxed and Tara did not rush us, I pushed to pay the bill and head for the nearest metro stop, maneuvered our way onto three subways, and avoided being kicked off and forced to find a cab, or worse, walk the many blocks to Renee and Maurice's home in Outrement.

I do love cities with subways. The fare is steep, and this morning, neither Eric's or my Visa cards worked in the ticket machine. I had to scrounge around the bottom of my purse for Canadian coins so I could buy three tickets. It was embarrassing but ultimately a success. I liked that we can go most anywhere in the center of town via metro, and it is efficient and comfortable.

After a breakfast of delights from the nearby boulangerie, and after a twelve hour deep sleep on the couch in the living room, I was raring to go to Old Montreal to wander about. Tara met us in front of Notre Dame cathedral and was desperate for a coffee, so we wandered around looking for a place we had discovered last time we visited, but it turned out that we chose the wrong direction. We settled on adequate coffee, and later when we walked to meet Maurice for lunch we discovered several good looking coffee places including the one we had wanted to find. When you are not looking you find all sorts of places and things you could not find when you were looking for them. Maurice suggested we meet at Jardin Nelson on Place Jacques Cartier, but it was closed for the winter, so we returned to a Creperie we had eaten at several times. Our time in Montreal is all about the food we eat! Maya and Tara had beef and cheese fondue, the rest of us tried the crepes and then we all indulged in chocolate fondue for dessert, all in all a massive meal, which helped in dealing with the incredible cold outside. It was raining early in the morning, and then the rain turned to ice so that the cars were crashing into one another and the sidewalks were treacherous. It warmed up a bit and later started snowing lightly. Winter has begun here, although we are told it has been a mild autumn.

Eric and Maya and I visited the Place de Calliere museum, which chronicles the history of Montreal from the time that the French first came. It is immediately on the banks of the St Lawrence, near the port. Renee came to pick Maya up for the evening, while Eric and I tried to walk to McGill underground. There is a way to do it, but without a map, we did not get as far as we hoped. There is an entire underground city, and theoretically if you don't wish to you need not go outside in the downtown area! We were to see Tara in her play at 8, so we were too late for a meal. Instead, we tried tea at Nocion, where Tara and I had nixed the coffee when we were on our coffee marathon. There are wonderful little middle eastern desserts, which Eric and I divided up in halves so we could taste them all.

Tara's play was very good and entirely unexpected. She played Shirley, a not too successful gangster, who hires even less competent ones and ends up dead after all sorts of mishaps and obstacles. We laughed and enjoyed it. Tara is happy and clearly in her element here, and that is most reassuring. Maya spent the evening with Renee and Maurice, playing her violin for them and engaging in a marathon Monopoly game.

Thanksgiving in Montreal

It was a little crazy to drive all night, but it was also the right decision. We were home from the movie around 10:30, said our good byes to the Benichous, and had Maya in bed in no time. I was packed and balancing my checkbook by 10, and waiting for Eric to get himself ready. I was confused that he was on the phone with his collaborator in Seattle and then with Maurice making last minute arrangements for our visit. I had thought we would be on the road already, but did not want to push, that being bad karma if I hurried him when he was not ready to drive and caused him to crash. He had forgotten his passport at his office too. I worked to be calm, and went to sleep for an hour or two until he announced himself ready to go. Maya had a pillow and blankets in the car, and hardly woke as Eric carried her down and placed her in her warm bed ( she is used to this). I fell asleep too and from 1:30 to 6:30 slipped in an out of consciousness and tried to ignore the roads and the lights and NPR and bad rock music.

I awoke behind a gas station where Eric announced he could drive no longer and had to nap. I did not think I could drive, but after bringing Maya to the bathroom in her pyjamas and discovering that we were in New York State ( I asked the attendant where we were!) I was awake and took the wheel for the next few hours, making good time as the sun rose in the pink sky and the small towns whizzed by. Maya was awake and chatted away. We stopped at Tim Hortons (EVERYWHERE here and in Canada) for oatmeal and bagels and had a short visit at the border. The Thousand Island area is quite lovely, and by then Eric was driving again and we both decided we would have to return in the summer to visit the area in a more leisurely way.

We were stuck in Brockland at a detour which took over an hour to pass, which messed up our good timing and got us to Montreal a couple of hours later than expected. When we got to Maurice's, I did not expect anyone home, so when I unlocked the door and saw a man there I screamed and screamed until I realized it was Maurice getting the place ready for us. We had lunch together and after he left, I called Tara, who was in a great mood and came to visit with us after Maya played her violin (she performed for Tara too). After spending some time catching up, we all braved the cold and walked for half an hour to St Laurent and Indian food for the evening. Tara had to be at her play by 7, so we had to eat early and she rushed off early too. The food was good and we gobbled it up before our walk back to Maurice's. It was so very cold to walk the ten or twenty blocks to their house, which made me more determined than ever to get Tara outfitted for the weather. I survived the walk, and stopped in at the nearby boulangerie to buy a tart for Renee and Maurice, but we were all too tired to wait for Maurice to come home to share it. It will have to wait until tomorrow, when we will spend as much of the day with TARa as possible. She is happy and well adjusted and we are all happy for her.

Thanksgiving Dinner, Harry Potter, Driving to Montreal

I was not sure anything would work out today, and it started a little 'off'. Maya's Thanksgiving celebration at school had been scheduled for 1 to 3 PM, so I had moved patients to make sure I could make it. But in the morning I learned that the event was to be held at noon until 2. Maya had written an invitation, which I never saw until I left for the office and it was too late to change all my appointments. I arrived at the event too late to see the performance or to eat.

We had invited the Benichous for dinner and it was Eric's job to purchase enough food for the night but no more than necessary, since we were out for the next few days. I had wanted a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with turkey, so we did have some turkey and mashed potatoes, but otherwise it did not feel too much like the usual sort of dinner I put together. It was good to see the Benichous and celebrate. A policeman came to the house to ask questions about a forged prescription, which occupied far too much of my time. I had bought tickets to the new Harry Potter movie, and Daphne and the children joined Maya's friend Emily and her father at the Senator for the almost three hour dark and gloomy picture. Maya has read the book countless times and knows every detail, and was not too disturbed by the gloominess. I am eager for the series to be over, but they have chosen to take the seventh book and divide it into two movies.

We packed off the Benichous and it took little time to get organized for our trip to Montreal. Eric needed a nap first, so I went to bed in my clothes and woke up at 1 AM. We made a bed for Maya in the back seat of the car and brought her down (still asleep) to place her there just before we drove off. It was raining furiously at the start of our journey. The roads were empty and we made good time to Pennsylvania and then to New York. It was the right decision to wait til early in the morning to drive, and Eric is not disturbed about driving long distances on minimal sleep. I try to get comfortable in the front passenger seat, but drift in and out of consciousness, and get through the journey.

Getting Packed Again

I traveled to New York with a small backpack, with little more than a change of underwear, night wear, and essential toilletries ( I wanted to feel entirely unburdened, I did not even take my computer). So unpacking was simple and easy. But now I am packing again for Montreal, where it is cold and snow is threatening. We have yet to unpack our clothes from the storage unit, so we truly have no appropriate clothes for our trip. I found gloves and hats and Maya has a ski jacket, but no boots. I am afraid we are going quite unprepared for this adventure and will stay in the house and the car and underground. I feel that I am packing and unpacking and packing and unpacking again these past weeks.

We are trying to decide when to start our long drive. I did not realize that many people are not working tomorrow. Sharon is off with her mother and brother getting ready for the feast. Emily is taking the train to New York in the morning. Maya has a big Thanksgiving feast at her school, which she has been preparing all week, and I did not want her to miss it. Eric and I are invited along with all the other parents. I like the feel of the school (although academically it is sorely inadequate, but that is another story) and want Maya to feel part of it and involved, so taking off early was not an option. I think we will have the Benichous over for a mini Thanksgiving dinner and then go to the new Harry Potter movie before we start the very long and arduous drive. I work all day, other than the lunch event at Maya's school. Several college students are here just for the day, so this is an opportunity to see them.

I dread the time in the car. The twelve hour drive is not at all fun, and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Maya will sleep and watch movies and not complain at all. I will be uncomfortable and suffer, Eric will actually enjoy himself. He likes to drive long distances, I am not sure why. I will simply be relieved to get to Montreal in one piece.

Coming Down From New York

Sunday morning in New York started with brilliant sunshine pouring into the apartment through the not so tightly closed blinds. I had been cold all night (I did not want to wash sheets so I slept on a blanket with another thin blanket covering me) and was happy to have a hot shower and warm up. I could not decide how much to clean in the apartment and decided on bleaching out the tub and washing out the sink. I swept up some of the dust and cleaned off a few tables and decided that was enough, packed up my things and left before 9. There were few people on the streets, including a few dog walkers and joggers. I walked up 7th avenue, relieved that it was not too cold and I could feel the sun shining on me. I found a Starbucks and had a leisurely coffee while I caught up with Eric by telephone and then called my friend Sandi to arrange for an evening out with the girls. I kept walking as the streets filled with people, and by the time I got to Times Square, the crowds had arrived. I knew I wanted to watch a play, but was unsure as to which one. The TKTS line was long already, and when I looked at the list of half price plays and musicals I found myself uninspired. After a day of stunning opera, I could not imagine a musical with microphones and plastic music. I was interested in 'The Merchant of Venice' with Al Pacino, but there were no half price tickets available. I walked to the theatre and found a short line of hopefuls waiting for the box office to open in an hour. I joined the group and read the New York Times on my iphone, learning that I really did want to see the play. It got great reviews all summer when it played in Central Park, Waiting was cold and painful, but I did get a good ticket when I finally got to the front of the line.

I dashed over to an exhibit on Tutankhamen, which I realized only too late that I had already seen a few years ago in Philadelphia and in Cairo before that, but I loved the exhibit and stayed too long to see the Imax movie I paid for. Luckily the theatre was across the street so I made it to a great performance. I remembered when the play started that I forgot to turn off the AC in the apartment, so I took the subway back to 7th and 13th to turn it off, and then hoped to return to the Egyptian exhibit for the movie, but for some reason the subway stopped for a half hour, and I had to rush over to Macy't to catch my bus home. It was full, and I felt lucky to get on. I wanted so much to stay and appreciate New York some more. What a wonderful weekend! I can't wait to come back with Maya and Eric! New York is marvelous, I feel like a child in a candy store, and I have felt that for years. I first started coming to New York when I lived in Montreal, and I loved it then. Ron and I visited several times, Tara loved the theatre, we both enjoyed plays every time we came, and now Maya loves the place. I think I would like to retire in New York!

I caught up with Tara and Ron on the way home. He had gone to visit and see her play, which was a great success and they were both happy with the visit. I was relieved to see Eric waiting with Maya at the bus station,which is not in a great area of the city. Maya had had a good weekend too, visiting the farmer's market, cooking lunch, seeing her friends. She had helped Eric rake the leaves, so there were piles of leaves on the grass. They will all fly away before they get bagged, but at least something was done. The yard is full of leaves, more than ever!

I was exhausted and exhilarated after my very marvelous weekend, and found being back in the office altogether too quiet and calm. I had a smattering of patients, all doing reasonably well. I had time to put charts in order, bill, take care of my plants, answer phone calls, but there were few patients, and a few who forgot to come.

Cosi fan Tutte, Carmen

Manon Lescaut

An Unremarkable Day

More Karma

I saw a patient that I had not seen for over a year and she brought me up to date on her life and her struggles. When she asked about me, I told her that I was fine being back in Baltimore but that I was disappointed that so many dishonest and hurtful people had left me wondering...I told her how betrayed I felt that a patient had used my name to forge a prescription to get drugs. The next thing I knew she was crying and apologizing and telling me that she had done it. I was stunned.

I tried to reassure her, but I am not certain as to how to proceed. I ought to call the policeman and tell him, but if I do, she will likely go to jail because she is on probation for a similar offense three years ago. On the other hand, I cannot help her if she goes to jail. My job is to help her, ease her suffering, not make it worse. On the other hand, she has broken the law and stolen my identity. I decided to do nothing for now, but I worry that if I do nothing, I could be doing the wrong thing. I am still feeling a bit surprised by the turn of events and also a little relieved that at least something is resolved, I know more.

I wish I knew what happened to Paula, the comptroller of the office, who stole 250,000 dollars and is not in jail or paying restitution. I wish I knew why the Resource Group does not want to make things right and pay back what they have stolen from me. Perhaps I just need to be satisfied that I know who forged a prescription of mine and that this person feels remorseful about it. I wonder if John the administrator at my former work place feels any guilt or regret, or if Paula wishes she had not stolen all that money.

Board Meeting

I became involved with helping out a friend with a nonprofit she had put all sorts of energy into these past few years and have found myself far more active than I imagined myself to be. I had a meeting yesterday and a longer board meeting today and am wondering what I am getting myself into. I liked volunteering in Quito and contributing in a 'notforprofit' way, so perhaps that is why I am devoting so much energy and enthusiasm to this now, although in truth I should be devoting myself to working and getting back on my feet financially. My practice is slowly growing back, but will take time. I need a website, because former patients tell me they call my former office and are told that I have disappeared and they are not forwarded to my current office. I need to get my name off the other website as soon as possible.

Today was a free day, and I enjoyed myself looking at a new Prius. I love my 50 mile per gallon vehicle, but feel silly buying a second one. Why have two identical cars in the driveway? Except that I am not particularly interested in any other cars. The Nissan Leaf is electric but not available in the state, if it was I think I would want to experiment with the new technology.

I did not know it was so fun to go car shopping. It was a wet grey day, and I slipped in and out of shiny new red and white and black Toyotas. I felt as if I was skipping school, but not guilty enough to give up the pleasure. I did not buy the car, but came home with lots of information and prices and a gorgeous brochure to share with Eric.

Maya had a violin lesson at Peabody, so I listened to her play before sending her off to her contemporary dance class. I dragged her to my office for the board meeting, but used her need to get to sleep as an excuse to get home before too late. Eric was stuck in San Diego (lucky lucky) when his plane could not take off due to fog. He enjoyed another day at the Neuroscience meeting and in the sun and is planning to return tomorrow afternoon.

Bad Karma

Somehow my return to Baltimore has been plagued with disappointment and I am not sure what it all means. My renters left three months early, took my washing machine, trashed the house and did not pay their rent. My former secretary embezzled money from the practice and stole thousands of dollars from me and the administrator does not want to tell me the truth or return the stolen money. My lawyer tells me it may be too expensive to go after the secretary or the practice. Today I learned that someone had printed a fake prescription and forged a Lortab script using my name.

I am not sure how to interpret such incredibly bad luck. What does it mean? Why me? I had little control over any of these events, but why so many reversals all at once? What is the message and what am I supposed to learn from all this?

Georgetown and the Kennedy Center

My favourite way to start Sunday mornings is to visit the Farmer's market downtown, under the Jones Falls Expressway. The thunder of the cars driving by about us joins the banjo player and the buzz of the throngs shopping for local produce. I never buy too much, but I like to take two turns past the booths and look at the fruits and vegetables. Maya is always thrilled to shop with me, but she was at Peabody for her accompanist session with Jake.

Our plan was to drive to Washington DC for a show at the Kennedy Center. It was a gorgeous sunny day, and when we arrived, we parked in the garage and walked along the Potomac to Georgetown. We passed the boathouse where Tara came to crew with her team in high school. People were strolling with their dogs and their children, and biking and running and eating outside. We stopped at a tea and spice shop, and had a difficult time leaving. We smelled and tasted spice combos and teas and a stew and Maya wanted me to buy all sorts of things, but the prices were a little outrageous. I love Georgetown and have visited many times, looking at stores, the lovely homes, the gardens, and trying out the many delightful restaurants.

We watched 'Hair' at the Kennedy Center. I did not realize that the themes were a little mature for Maya and I was dismayed when all the cast members stripped and stood naked in the middle of the stage. The language was offensive at times, and Maya did not at all approve. I am afraid that her discomfort interfered with her enjoyment of the show, and my worries about her feelings affected my enjoyment. Next time, I ought to better inform myself before I expose Maya to 'adult' entertainment. If not for my concerns for Maya, I would have enjoyed the experience fully. Revisiting the 60's and the hippie movement is very entertaining.

My hope was to visit Dumbarton Oaks and the pre columbian exhibit, but we arrived with only a few minutes to rush through the museum. I will have to return and take my time to appreciate the pieces. It took too long to get home, but we arrived in time to get to yoga and enjoy 90 minutes on the mat with Sid. Maya is amazing, is a natural yogi, and feels calm and peaceful. I loved being with her all weekend and did not want to share her with anyone.

The Leaves are Gone

I suddenly realized that after a week of brilliant fall colours, the leaves are gone and the trees are bare and winter is approaching. I wondered when Eric and I would get around to raking up all the piles of rotting leaves covering our yard. I would like to hire someone to do it, but Eric insists that we can do it ourselves, but of course I know we won't and our yard will look horrendous all winter. If I had any desire to actually go out and rake, that would fix things, but I would rather hire someone, so I am back at square one.

The sun has been shining all week, and the reds and yellows and oranges everywhere have been stunningly beautiful with a clear blue sky above, and I wonder why I do not pull out my camera and photograph, as I did all year in Ecuador. Perhaps I only take pictures when I know that I won't see a certain place again, and here in Baltimore I am accustomed to the gorgeous fall colours and take them for granted. I ought to be as enthusiastic about photographing the scenes here as anywhere else. Now the trees are denuded and the beauty has faded, and the colours are gone, so there is no need to photograph anything anyway.

It was warm and sunny and socks and coats were not necessary, and I thought going for a walk or a bike ride would be perfect, but after dropping Maya off at Peabody for the day, I met my friend Emily for a hatha yoga class, which was very basic and not too challenging. We caught up at Bonjour bakery over coffee and croissants, and I realized that I had missed Emily's birthday last week. I must remember that it is on Veterans Day November 11!!!!!!! Emily and I have been busy and have not connected for a few weeks, and must do a better job of maintaining contact. She is as busy as I am, with a son the same age as Maya and a job at Hopkins at the school of Public Health.

When I picked up Maya from a day of violin practice, she was not in the mood for any major activity. We went to a power yoga class where she is a star, and she practiced next to Sid and copied all his moves and looked marvelous. Her mood was much better after class, and we went shopping for UGGS, rather ugly but very popular and expensive shoes. Maya's shoe size is at the limit for children, so we will not be shopping in the children's section for shoes anymore. We decided to get the boots soon( they did not have the style or colour she wanted) but we would order them right away so that she could get them before we travel to Montreal so that her feet can be warm there, but they will be her birthday present.

It was a Saturday night at home with a movie. I was not in the mood to share Maya this weekend and decided against a sleepover or any social events. We wake up early in the morning tomorrow to drive to DC and visit the pre columbian exhibit at Dumbarton Oaks and see a musical at the Kennedy Center. We are taking advantage of Eric's time away to stay very busy.

Pilates Yoga and Beethoven

I force myself not to work on Friday and that is a challenge. I always end up spending a little time in the office cleaning up or organizing or answering phonecalls. Somehow not working every day does not feel quite right. It was odd that Sharon found someone to rent the office two days a week and suddenly I felt totally uncertain about sharing my space with someone else. I was worried about privacy rules regarding my patients and their charts and I hated someone else using my desk or occupying my space. I did not like that I did not know the person, that he just answered an ad on Craig's List, that he was not a psychiatrist or psychologist. I called Sharon and voiced my objections and also disagreed that I had to pay $20 extra a day for the space because I am a psychiatrist. Why is the space cheaper for a therapist if it is the same space I use? I ended up agreeing to pay the cost of the office at the therapist price but for the whole five days. I fear that Sharon is less than happy with me. I am fired up because I am learning that the Resource Group, where I worked for five years, used fraudulent billing practices, stole thousands from me each year, and now I must decide whether I want to pursue legal action or let it all go and be peaceful about it. I am upset with myself because I knew for years that the billing person was not doing a good job, but I presumed it was incompetence. I learned when I returned from Ecuador that she was embezzling money from the practice, but I have learned little else, since the administrator does not wish to reveal any details to me. It's a mess, and impacts my daily life, partly because when my patients call the Resource Group they are often told that I am no longer there but that no one knows where I am....anyway, I think Sharon got a dose of all my frustration and irritability about the decision regarding legal action, and I do not want to be stepped on or taken advantage of ever again.

For my day off, I found myself super active, with a pilates mat and reformer class and a power yoga class, which felt wonderful. I met Eric at Hopkins and drove him to the airport to catch his plane to the Neuroscience meeting in San Diego. I wish I was going with him. We once went to one of my meetings together with Maya when she was an infant and stayed at the Del Coronado, which is a lovely beachside hotel, and enjoyed exploring San Diego. Eric will see the inside of his hotel room and the convention center and likely little else.

Maya and I went to the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra for the evening. We rushed from ballet home, changed, ate standing up and Maya practiced a little violin too, before Julien showed up with Belina and her friend Lydia. Julien knows where to park and got a comp ticket for the show, while the children and I got rush tickets. Julien stayed in the Orchestra close to the stage while the children and I climbed to the tippy top of the auditorium. The acoustics were fine. A pianist from Macedonia played the Prokofiev concerto and was amazing. I came for the Eroica from Beethoven, but it was a little different from what I am used to and did not move me as I expected it to. After the concert we all went backstage and met several musicians as well as the conductor Marin Alsop. Julien is a conductor and trained at Peabody, so he knew all the musicians by first name. It was fun going backstage, but the children were exhausted. Maya was a delight during the concert, but Belina did not enjoy it and wanted to leave after the first movement and expressed her displeasure all through the concert. Next time, it will be just Maya and me, although Eric would sleep through it all and might enjoy that.

Plans plans plans

Yoga in the Middle of the Day

Sunny Fall Skies

Home Again

I wanted to walk through the streets of Old Montreal, so after meeting Tara for the best coffee we have found in the city (Cafe Myriade, near Concordia) and checking out of my hotel (Chateau Versailles, just perfect for a long weekend), I strolled through the city and down the hill to the cathedral and then to the pier. I was distracted by an exhibit at the Pointe Calliere Museum near the water, where I got caught up in the Rapa Nui and their maoi, and before I knew it Tara had finished her 'storyboard' meeting and was right outside the building ready for lunch.

I remembered being at the museum restaurant with Maya and Tara when I first brought Tara to Montreal to visit McGill when she was in high school. There is a lovely view of the St Lawrence and with sunny blue skies and shiny buildings all around, we decided to wait in line for a table and enjoy the three course meal (I had basic eggs benedict and Tara had a blini with gravlax and smoked salmon) and take a taxi back to McGill where she had to be at rehearsal by 2 and I picked up my bag and walked the five or six blocks to the 747 bus on Rene Levesque and Bishop. I had wisely collected $7 in coins, otherwise I could not have boarded and bought a ticket. The bus was full and I stood squeezed in the aisle watching more and more people come onto the bus at the next few stops. Thankfully, the Pierre Elliot Trudeau airport is 20 minutes away and it is an easy airport to manage. Not like the Toronto airport which is always a nightmare, even after millions of dollars in renovations and improvements. I will be on my plane soon and back in Baltimore before midnight. Eric and Maya will pick me up (I volunteered to take the Light Rail but Eric did not approve) and I will be back in my bed tonight and back to my (Tara describes it as 'boring') life.

Walking Home in the Dark

I am careful with Tara and watch my words, but invariably get caught up in recriminations. Despite wanting to flee through a three hour marathon discussion over coffee and muffins, it was Tara who scrambled off up to the mountain. I visited the Museum of Fine Arts and calmed down looking at Greek and Roman and Egyptian and Syrian and Iranian and pre Columbian Art. I followed Tara up the mountain to the peak, where I admired the view of the city below me. It was sunny and warm and the sky was a gorgeous blue and I was relieved not to be wet. My shoes are ruined after the past two days.

We met again in the chalet at the top and it seems that we are fine again. Tara wanted Indian food and we walked down to Parc and then to St Laurent where we tried to find the Lumiere d'Inde, but it was closed between lunch and dinner. We found a small cafe (Boui Boui) and inhaled a goat cheese salad and inferior cappuccino and walked down St Laurent to a middle eastern place we had tried my first visit here. It is actually off St Denis near the cinemas where the film festival played, I wish I could remember the name. We warmed up with mint tea and baklava and pistachio and almond cakes. Tara had a party to go to and I walked back to St Laurent to buy tickets to a Shakespeare play (Henry V) which was good enough but not great, I am afraid that I am a bit of a theatre snob after so many visits to New York and London for theatre. But I like Henry V and it felt good to be out.

I read late into the morning hours, reassured that we were gaining an hour for daylight savings time. I think that travel is the one place I can catch up on reading, there being no time at home with all the responsibilities of my life. I am transported to other worlds when I read, and I cannot put a book down, so I took advantage and read with abandon.

More Rain and Good Food

I am already sick of the incessant rain. Tara lent me her umbrella, and my alpaca coat keeps me warm. I am determined to get a coat for Tara, she is not well prepared for the impending winter. I met with Maurice and Renee for lunch near the hospital she works at (CHUM---associated with the University of Montreal). It was an amazingly good restaurant, next to the 'Lion d'Or' which is a cabaret place, I think the brasserie like place was called 'Extra'. It was fun to see and talk to Eric's friends, and catch up on our lives. I am not sure what the plans were for the afternoon, but I found myself at Renee's place for a short while, where I called up my office and took care of messages waiting for me.

Tara called asking for food, so we met near McGill at the bar at the Omni hotel, where Tara dove into a hamburger and Renee and I and later Maurice drank cocktails. Tara had a rehearsal to go to, and then Renee and Maurice decided I needed to look at warm coats, so we drove to a store called "Kanuk' which supposedly has the best coats around. I feel strongly that for Tara to enjoy Montreal winter, she has to be properly attired. A warm coat, boots, gloves, scarves, hat etc. If warm enough, she will be able to enjoy this place. She dresses as if it is still spring, and will suffer.....

The prices were outrageous, and I think that Renee figured that I was in shock and awe, so she and Maurice drove me out to the suburbs to a wonderful coop mountain wear store, where prices were more reasonable. I could not buy anything for Tara, she would not approve. I was most impressed with the longjohns, which may be part of her necessary attire. But I decided that Tara will have to shop on her own and decide what she wants. I worry that she will not bother and will struggle.....

We had dinner at Mikado, a Japanese restaurant near Maurice and Renee's condo, and enjoyed our sushi and more conversation. I think I got home after midnight, and got comfortable in my wonderful bed with more than enough pillows and chocolate treats on the bedside. I like my hotel, which feels homey and inviting.

Montreal is Wet and Cold

My alarm was to go off at 4;50, but Orbitz called me at 4, so I was up and ready to go long before 5. Eric warmed up the car and brought Maya down while still asleep, and she stretched out in the back seat. It was raining and foggy and we arrived at the airport too early. I find that every time I fly to Canada, I get going hours before I should. But once I got through security, I found myself calm and relaxed. The flight was unremarkable, except that the first plane was only a 20 seater, and flew low and slow. Toronto is a horrible airport, all new and improved and still poorly planned and sparkling but unpleasant. I knew to catch the 747 bus downtown, and walked the three blocks up Guy from Rene Levesque to Sherbrooke and my hotel for the next three days (Chateau Versailles). I met Tara along the way, looking happy and energetic, and wearing red to match my own. We had coffee at Cafe Myriade and caught up with our lives and then ate Indian for lunch. Tara is busy with school and a student run play and TV McGill and lots of friends and social activities.

I visited her in her dorm room and met her friend Hanna from Yellowknife. We had frozen yoghurt at 'Yeh' and she invited me to her rehearsal, but after being introduced to the cast and the director and sitting waiting for her to start, she came to me and asked me to leave and told me she was not comfortable with me watching her practice. I wandered through the wet streets and visited a couple pharmacies. The pharmacies here are not typical. They are full of good quality skin products and makeup and are massive and entertaining. I chose some Lindt chocolate for dessert and found my way back to my hotel room and had a bubble bath and read and fell asleep by 10. I was happy to see Tara, did not have an agenda for the weekend, but decided simply to be available and agreeable and explore Montreal in the process.

Tara is 21

Tara is 21 today. She was born at 12:14 on a Wednesday and was a perfectly beautiful baby with blonde hair and blue eyes which are now green and still beautiful. I celebrated her special day every hour and looked forward to visiting her for the weekend in Montreal. My day was not too busy, since my original plan was to travel to Montreal today to be with Tara on her special day, but she wanted to celebrate with her friends, and I decided not to interfere.

After I finished with patients, I got a haircut and a pedicure and packed and caught up with bills and work and straightened out the house and felt unusually accomplished. I always go a little overboard before a trip, getting everything done before I leave, as if I may not return.

I put together a day by day hour by hour instruction booklet together for Eric, so he does not forget anything on Maya's calendar. Maya had a soccer practice and will play her last game this weekend and also has a performance on Saturday and all sorts of social events. She is happy to be with her father and with her friends and will not miss me.

Election Day

No school, no garbage pickup, but the office is open and the banks are working. I spent an inordinate amount of time at my bank trying to get a new bankcard. I ordered it twelve days ago, but it was returned 'back to sender' for who knows why. When I called yesterday to have another one sent overnight to my work, I failed the security questions, all of which referred to 'Richters' I did not know. How could I fail my security test? So I could not get my card. I visited the bank manager to complain, to ask for a card somehow, and am hoping one will be sent overnight to the bank for tomorrow and that I can finally have a card after a few weeks.

Maya came to work with me. My officemate brought her kitty for Maya to play with, and Maya was supposed to do math work, but lost her enthusiasm for math soon after starting. I had a smattering of patients, and we had time to have Mayas hair cut and blowdried. Tuesday is the day for a violin lesson at Peabody and a 'Contemporary' dance class after a session with Hana, a peadagogy student who works with her after her lesson. I have to rush back to the office for a couple of patients and then all the way back across town to pick Maya up and return to Towson for my ballet class. Lots of driving and listening to the radio. Election results are pending.

Lazy Monday

My practice is not happening. I had a lazy day today and the rest of the week is half full. I am traveling to Montreal Thursday to celebrate Tara's 21st birthday, so I did not book Wednesday, thinking originally that I would go on her birthday. Instead, I have all this free time and that makes me nervous. I ought to enjoy it, instead I worry about paying bills.

I was able to get to a pilates class and a yoga class and a visit to the Apple store to contemplate a new laptop. Tara needs to replace her old laptop and I offered her my old one, but she decided it was not what she wanted. I am running out of space in my two year old one, and will be obliged to buy a new one in the next few months anyway. I am not sure Tara realized how expensive these things are....but her father is always willing to give her money, so she will get what she wants anyway. I guess I feel that at that age I did not get whatever I wanted and worked for things and had to delay gratification, but children today are so much more entitled. Of course, now in my 50s, I too cannot have what I want, and have to work to pay for what I want, so little has changed from my 20s. I guess I am trying to sort out my feelings about this.