Happy New Year 2011!!!!!!!

I wasistaken. I had no idea that today was a holiday all around. I booked patients in my office and several did not show up. I was glad to catch up and prepare for next week, which is horrendous, because I see far too many people in the two days that I am here, and lecture at the university each day, and take care of Maya and pack and prepare for our trip to Ecuador.

Maya came to join me in the middle of the day after playing with 'circuits', a toy kit she had received for Christmas. Eric was so interested in her toy, he did not get any work done for the morning. Maya and I went to our last yoga class of the year, and enjoyed smoothies before returning home to a crisp and clean house (our cleaning lady came for the day).

We were invited to Sandi, Sarah and Matt's house for dinner. I had thought a large group of families would be there, but we were the only ones and it turned out to be a delightful dinner and evening. Maya enjoyed her time with Sarah and the adults were comfortable together. Maya Eric and I made another stop at Julien and Daphne's house for a much bigger party with Daphne's six siblings and their families visiting along with her parents and Julien's parents. They had bought a 'Wii' game wherein two or three people would dance and compete, so we all had our turns and had a blast. I got caught in a dull moral argument about healthcare and insurance companies, and was glad to get out of there to watch the fireworks downtown at midnight. The harbour was full of spectators and there were three sets of fireworks. I was glad I went, especially since parking was easy and getting out of there at the end was fast and efficient too. I do like fireworks at new years!

I am wondering about New Years Resolutions. They are not quite formed yet. I am giving myself a week to flesh them out.

A Day in the Skies

I managed to pack all our stuff into three suitcases! They are all falling apart and may not last the day, but so far so good. We were up and ready early. The temperature had plummeted 15 degrees and it was much much colder than it was the days prior. We said our goodbyes to my parents, who were up early to join us for breakfast and farewells. The Edmonton airport is organized and easy to maneuver through. We go through customs at the airport, which makes the rest of the journey more relaxed and somehow I do not encounter too much difficulty with the immigration officers when I go from Canada to the US. Thankfully.

Flying gives me time to read and relax. I spent most of the day reading my book on the Conquest of the Incas in preparation for my lectures next week. We had time at Minneapolis to sit down for dinner/lunch (Maya calls it 'linner' or 'lunner') and more time to wander around waiting for our flight.

Tara had a later flight for an overnight journey to Montreal. She baked and entertained my parents for the day and my mother was delighted to have her 'old' Tara back. I am worried for my parents, my father being so frail and my mother so challenged, but there is so little I can do for now. I have 'power of attorney' to take care of things if anything should happen to require my services, but I cannot force anything. Should they be in a nursing home? Can they manage without help? Would they accept inhome help? Should my mother be driving? There were so many questions and concerns during our visit, and I am not entirely satisfied with the current circumstances.

West Edmonton Mall

A visit to Edmonton always involves a trip to the mall, which when built was the biggest mall in the world, but has been surpassed long since, by other bigger, better, wilder places. Yet, it has its charms, and certainly offers many activities and entertainments for children and adults. It is enormous and has many many stores, most of the same one would find in any shopping area, but also some unique options. There are food courts, a 'European' mall with coffee houses and restaurants, a 'Chinatown'. a 'Fantasyland' hotel where each room is decorated with a different theme, and one can request a night at the 'Bourbon Street', 'Disneyland', 'Russian tearoom etc. There is a replica of the 'Santa Maria' in the midst of a lagoon which offers sea lion shows, penguin demonstrations, submarine rides under the sea. A wave pool and water slide complex is warm and humid all year, the skating rink offers hockey games and figureskating hours. Movie theatres, Imax screens, inside playgrounds and junglegyms as well as adult gyms, spas and salons and more. the place is an entertainment complex, shopping centre, and has medical and dental offices, even a Lasik centre where you can get your eyes fixed.

In the past Eric and I would go to the Starbucks at the mall to get internet, but now that we had internet at the house, that is not necessary. Perhaps that is why we have not been at the mall as much as we usually are when we come to Edmonton. I thought Maya and Tara would love a few hours at the mall, but Maya decided to read a book the whole time we were there, and I had to drag her out to see the sea lion show. When it was time to leave she was disappointed that she had not taken advantage of her time there, but while reading she was too engrossed in her book to care. Tara did some shopping, and I tried to join her, but I was not in the mood to shop, although the sales were great. I took an inordinate amount of time to choose underwear (10 for $30 was a great deal) and after that I was done with shopping. I had coffee, walked the length of the mall a few times, and joined Maya in the bookstore.

Eric had some shopping to do, and I helped him a little at Eddie Bauer. We were all quite done with the mall after a few hours, and once home took advantage of the last few hours of the day to scramble outside in the snow. It was our last night in Edmonton, so we went out for dinner at 'Cafe de Ville' ( I looked at the top 973 restaurants in town and this one was close by and well regarded). My mother was fighting a cold and decided to stay in bed, so my father joined us and we had great food and wonderful conversation. My father talked about growing up in 'Ulmenau' in what is now Serbia. Eric had looked up his town on google Earth a few nights before, and my father had recognized his old home and his high school nearby. The name of the town is now Backi Brestovatz and has changed alot from what it was when he lived there.

We talked about the origin of the Richter family. We had always been told that the family originally came from Schleswig Holstein near Denmark, and moved to the area when the Hapsburgs were populating it after the Turks were defeated. The area had been Turkish for four hundred years. The name Richter is more likely a 'Frankish' name (as opposed to Saxon which are the people of Schleswig) and so there is suspicion that the family came from Sudetenland. The Franks took on the name of their professions, and Richter was the name for a mayor/judge. There are records of the family being in Ulmenau in 1804, but the story is that they were there in the 1700s. They were hemp makers and not farmers, and had a factory that made hemp. They acquired land through marriage. My great grandmother was a 'Scherer' and the family had land that the Richters married into. Originally the Richters were Lutheran, but changed to Catholics to marry (and acquire land). My grandfather was known not to be religious, but the family had helped pay for the church and therefore there was a pew in the front right side of the church where the Richters sat. The church is still in Backi Brestovatz, but was damaged and not renovated fully. It is missing its original tower.

My father, his father and his grandfather were all born in the same house in the same town, but each time it was another country, including Hungary, Serbia and Austria I believe.....

My father was reminiscing and telling stories and keeping us captivated and enthralled and it was great to see him loosen up a bit and enjoy himself.

Snow!

We all love the snow and the best part of the day is our walk in the river valley. We bundle up in ski pants, thick ski jackets that make us look like sausages, warm gloves, hats, scarves and longjohns and we walk out to the edge of the ravine, slide down to the bottom on our behinds and either bushwack through the trees or walk across the river on the bridge or carefully pick our way along the side of the river. Rabbits and coyotes cross the North Saskatchewan, but it is not entirely safe yet. There are parts not covered by ice. Perhaps it is passable, but not in all places.

The air is fresh and crisp and when you breathe, fog comes out of your mouth. Sometimes the sky is blue, but most often it is grey and overcast and the sun sets before 5, so we hurry home before it gets dark. There is a long way home with a gentle uphill, or we clamber up the path we slid down on.

It is cold outside, but under my clothes I get hot and wet and come home soaking and ready for a change of clothes. It takes lots of energy to frolic in the snow and breathe the cold air and climb up the side of the ravine to get home. I feel so refreshed after the experience.

In past years, it was a family affair. Tara would join Eric and Maya and I and participate in the fun. Now she prefers to go on her own and exercise. I am not sure it is so fun for her. Maya wants to play and is uninterested in hiking. I want to move forward, so Eric and Maya have their adventure and I take off at an intense pace and cover miles and elevation and drag myself home in the dark.

We try to hike every day, and it is the highlight of our time here. During this visit it feels as if it is the best part of our stay. At home we are always on guard and getting into all sorts of trouble, but usually my mother forgets that she was angry at us; that is good for my mother, but we are all hurting and carrying all that pain with us all the time.

Royal Alberta Museum

It was a gorgeous sunny day. We tried to get moving a little earlier this morning; most days we are up around 10 or 11 and eating breakfast at noon. I rousted Eric out of bed to buy breakfast items and made a huge fruit salad while Tara made chocolate chip and banana pancakes. That way we had more of the day to work with.

Eric, Maya and I spent a few hours at the local 'Alberta' museum, with a natural history section, a bit about dinosaurs, and a great exhibit about the aboriginal people. Tara was not interested in going, and stayed home to work on her guitar (which she named 'Luka') and take a walk. Eric and I took a long walk once home. Maya is fighting a cold and we decided that she would stay home. We had invited my parents for a meal out at the 'High Level Diner', a student hangout when I was at university and still popular with students. Tara arranged to meet a friend nearby on Whyte Avenue, so we dropped her off for the evening, got Maya back home to movie and bed, and Eric and I went to another movie which we did not enjoy all that much (The Fighter). We were in horrible trouble after we picked Tara up at the Tim Hortons on Whyte and arrived home to a house in uproar. My mother and father were up with Maya and worried that we had run into some sort of disaster. Perhaps they forgot that we had told them that we would pick Tara up at midnight. I had mistakenly called them from my cell at 12:03 and they had heard faint conversation (my phone was in my purse) and were sure that we were in trouble. Maya told us they had been up for hours worrying. Whew! Seems that going out feels natural and fun for us, but causes all sorts of concern for my mother. I feel like a teenager coming home late from a date.

Boxing Day

My mother has been rather miserable since we arrived and today everyone was in tears and desperate to leave. I packed all my things, ready to change our tickets and fly back knowing how unrealistic that is. Maya was paralyzed in despair, and would not move forward or backward. We all took walks in the snow and formulated a plan to get out of the house as often as possible so to balance the bad energy in the house.

Maya' mood improved when we went to see the new Disney movie 'Tangled' in 3D. Later Tara and I saw the 'Black Swan' during which I screamed in horror and embarrassed my daughter and made everyone else in the theatre laugh.

I don't know how to make it easier for any of us. My mother is forgetful and unhappy and bothered by our presence even though she delights in having her family around. None of us can do anything right and she is correcting us regularly. I am trying to breathe, to calm down, to figure out a way to turn things around.....

Playing Hockey with the Edmonton Oilers

Okay, so I did not quite get on the ice with them, but it was a bit of a surprise to see them playing in front of my house, on the ice in the middle of the street, in running shoes, but with hockey sticks and Oilers shirts. A player happens to live next door to my parents, and every year on Christmas Day, a neighbourhood game goes for hours and hours, with young and old and mostly men, but some girls are playing with the professionals. We were asked to join in, but I was sure my lack of skill would hurt either team, so I chose to watch and cheer and enjoy.

Eric, Maya and Tara and I were out for our walk to the river valley in the snow. Maya had been rolling around in the back yard for hours waiting for us to join her. We slide down to the river on our bottoms along a steep ravine path, and walk past cross country skiers and snowshoers and mostly walkers with their dogs. We brave the shoreline where the ice is thick, and walk until it is too cold to walk further and return along a slightly less steep incline, passing the hockey players still on the ice in front of the house as we join my mother in preparing the Christmas meal. She has chosen turkey for the occasion, but I had started a stuffing recipe hours earlier, only to discover that she had few of the ingredients required. I tried to make do with what I found, but was uncertain after I made cornbread with corn flour as opposed to corn meal. My mother was confused and forgetful and had her own ideas about the meal, disregarding the menu plan we made. She had been in a foul mood all day, and nothing seemed to help her pull out of it. The turkey was way overcooked, but the gravy and the stuffing saved it. I put too much garlic in the salad, which almost killed my mother but no one else objected. In truth, the meal worked out well enough. We had bought a massive apple pie at Cosco, which was yummy when smothered with whipped cream.

Tara, Eric and I went to the new Coen brother's movie, True Grit, which was not particularly interesting , although the performances were solid. Our evenings are long discussions in front of the Christmas tree, going in all sorts of tangents. Opa talked about his childhood in Yugoslavia, and Eric found the town he grew up in on Google Earth.

Merry Christmas

It is late and I am exhausted. Eric and I were up until 2:30 AM Edmonton time (4:30 Baltimore) wrapping presents. Today was another shopping day, but not until we decorated the Christmas tree, which looked far better than I expected it to look. The Christmas tree was gorgeous. We have good tree karma. We returned to the same lot that we found the last time we visited Edmonton, and bought a frozen tree all tied up. I was distressed because it was not obvious as to how the tree would appear once unfrozen. Eric brought it in last night and it defrosted and presented itself as a lush and wide and tall and bushy tree, absolutely perfect. My mother has delightful wooden and straw decorations, which work well for the decor of the living room. I do not like a gaudy tree.

Eric and I had more shopping to do. We found our way to the massive collection of shops on the northwest side of the city and bought all sorts of craft items for Maya to finish her Christmas gifts. We found gifts for Maya too. I knew that there was an inequity of gifts this year and was trying to even things out. I looked for a centrepiece for my mother, which she always appreciates, and later found all sorts of small and fun gifts for my parents. I could have gone on and on, but Maya needed time to finish her projects, and I could have shopped and shopped and shopped forever.

Maya finished her work in very little time and only wanted to get out and play in the knee deep snow. I tried to work with my mother to arrange the evening meal, but that was a challenge because she forgets so much. We did eat a simple Christmas Eve dinner. Eric and I took Maya and Tara to 'Candy Cane Lane' to see the decorations to give Santa a chance to visit. He did not disappoint, and we sang Christmas carols and listened to Maya play the violin.

Maya had insisted that we start with a few gifts last night, and before dinner and after dinner and before singing, but finally it was time, and we each watched one another open presents. Tara was thrilled with her new guitar, and Maya cried when the 'Uggs' Santa brought were too small. She was recently a size 6, now a size 7 does not fit! We will have to shop some more. I saw that I had bought Tara far too much and Maya too little, and I knew that she was disappointed, but she usually asks for so little and will recover. This is not so easy!

My parents were happy to be with us and enjoyed the chaos and excitement. I was exhausted and ready for bed. Originally our plan was to go to midnight mass at the cathedral, but we were all too tired to make the effort. I forgot and was asleep before midnight.

I Love Christmas Shopping

I had not done any Christmas shopping and I had one day today and that is what Eric and I did. We started with Costco and dragged my mother and Tara along. Both were rather miserable so we ditched them for the afternoon and shopped in earnest after that. Maya was happy to be with Opa playing violin and chess and reading and eating. Tara was busy with her 'buche de noel', her Christmas tradition of three years now, getting better each year and now an expected part of the programme.

Edmonton has grown so much! Shopping malls are everywhere and everything is available. Eric and I found all we needed and more, including a Christmas tree in the same lot we found the very last one two years ago when we were here. I found myself in an absolutely wonderful mood. I love to shop this way. I have one day to do it all and many options and possibilities. I felt successful and driven and focussed, and Eric was happy to drive me around and be dragged around for his opinion. He was on the same page as me (for once) and we accomplished so very much. I worry when I always leave the shopping for the day before Christmas that I won't get it all done, but perhaps out of necessity, it always seems to work out.

Edmonton is cold and white and beautiful. I am not sure I could stomach the cold for the many months of winter, but for a week a year, I appreciate it totally. We went to the Faculty Club for dinner and had a gorgeous view of the river valley and the lights of the city. A huge yellow moon rose over the city lights and shrunk as it reached its height. Mom and Dad were so happy to have us and show us off to their friends and colleagues.

Flying North

I am not sure why I make it so difficult for myself. I worked intensely until there was no more time to work and then rushed home to pack. I sent Eric to pick Maya up from school and of course he took far too long (I would park and get Maya from the building while Eric chose to wait in the car pool lane for an hour). I was agitated when he finally showed up, but we got all our bags in the car (only one each so we would not pay the $25 a bag on the flight) and fought traffic to the airport. We parked in the open air lot (it will snow so hopefully we will get out next week) and found ourselves in the Delta baggage line for an hour. I am not sure why Delta chose only one person to take care of the bags, but everyone in line was frustrated. We finally got through the line and through security without having to be XRayed or body checked and when we got to the gate, our flight was delayed.

That is when I relax and give up on trying to control the world. I buy a few magazines, I read, I check my voicemail, I talk to Eric and Maya, and wait for our 'zone' to be called. We have an uneventful flight to Minneapolis and make it to our next flight and Maya and I slept all the way to Edmonton. Everything went smoothly and we drove our rented Toyota Corolla through the empty streets, which are all changed from what I remember, but we found our way home anyway and woke up the household at 2 in the morning. My parents wanted to feed us and sit down for drinks, but I shooed everyone to bed. We have to shop in the morning.

Lunar Eclipse

We actually did wake up at 3:30 in the morning to look at the moon. It was huge and yellowish red in colour and perhaps I ought to have stayed to watch some more, but I went straight back to bed and woke up exhausted. Maya watched the eclipse for a while too, and I discovered that many of my friends had been up during the night to observe the last lunar eclipse for the next three years.

My day was not too intense. Maya's violin lesson was canceled for the afternoon, so I had a few free hours to organize my office and prepare for my weeklong departure to Canada. Maya went off to play with Belina for the afternoon, so I texted Eric to pick her up from the Benichous at 5, but somehow there was a miscommunication and Eric went over to their house for pizza and play. I am not sure what Eric was thinking, but I summoned him back to help get packed and ready to go for our trip to Canada. I think Eric likes to stay at the Benichous all the time. I am a little uncomfortable because he offered the Cowans house for Daphne's family to stay in over Christmas and that seems a little presumptuous to me, but apparently Noah was fine with it. I am not sure how I would feel with strangers staying at my house, especially after my renters were so disrespectful and destructive. Of course the house is a disaster anyway and needs much work to get it back to functioning, so a little more damage would not be too horrid, but I still would be queasy if the five or six people moved in for a bit. Daphne is having a huge BASH for her birthday on the 28th. We will still be in Canada, so we will miss it all....

Party Leftovers

We will not have to buy any food for the week; we will be living off leftovers from the party. I was delighted with the party; everyone came (except Rina who got lost and went to the wrong house; I discovered this hours later when I found she had called at 6:29 wondering whether she was at the right house) and everyone seemed happy and a good time was had by all.

There will be several more loads of dishes over the next few days. I used paper plates and plastic cutlery, but the counters are piled high with dishes and utensils and food and leftovers. I ignored most of it before running off to work and ignored it some more when I got home late after a board meeting and a yoga class. I met Emily for hot yoga and exchanged gifts for Christmas. She is off to Chicago tomorrow to see family.

It was my last yoga class for a while. I will have no time nor opportunity until I return from Canada, and then I will have only a few days until we leave for Ecuador. Time is crashing by and I feel rather unprepared. I have done no Christmas shopping as of yet and do not intend to until we get to Edmonton, when I will have exactly a day and a half to do it all. I am relieved to have done most of my Christmas cards by today. I have about 11 left, which I am not sure I will send anyway....I have yet to do my usual yearly album for my parents, but may decide to do that after Christmas, not that I have more time then, but I may be too late to be in time for Christmas anyway.

I love all the anticipation of Christmas, and it does not bother me to be so far behind, I like the feeling of heightened excitement as the big day nears.

Twenty Four Hours in New York City

It was probably ambitious and silly, but I had promised Maya a weekend in New York for her birthday, and although she originally had wanted several friends to come with, in the end only Belina could make it, so it was the three of us who went. Maya had a concert at Peabody at 9, so that was the focus for the morning. She was wonderful. Afterward, we came home, packed and got on the road later than planned. The drive was uneventful but long. The girls watched movies and played games in the back. We arrived at sunset and I love that thrilling feeling of seeing the Manhattan skyline across the water, turning into the Lincoln tunnel and rising up into the city. It gets my heart beating fast every time.

I did not have an easy time finding our hotel, it being across from the UN in a part of town I did not know well. Maya chose the hotel because of the swimming pool with a great view across the East River. Our room was on the 38th floor with a fantastic view of the Empire State building and the Chrysler building, which looked great in the dark with all the sparkling lights.

I hurried the girls out of our hotel room and we walked to Times Square to get into the TKTS line. We decided on Mary Poppins and had some time to wander around and look at souvenirs and the MandM store. The crowds were unbelievable and I had Maya and Belina holding hands and holding on to me. I was worried about losing them, but we stayed together and found a place for pizza and got to our theatre on time. The show was very entertaining and we sang all the way back to our hotel, eight blocks away.

The bed was comfy and massive and after more admiring of the view, we got to sleep. First things first in the morning; we had to go for a swim with our view of the city and the East River in the morning mist. We ate a huge buffet for breakfast, the girls going up six seven times for more food. We wandered to Rockefeller Centre to see the Christmas tree and the skaters and Fifth Avenue and then took a cab to Macy's to look at the Christmas windows. There was little time to shop, which Belina and Maya were dying to do. We had to get back on the road to get home in time for my Christmas party, which was at my house at 6.

Driving home was easy and fast, and once home there was time to shower and change and prepare for the guests. My office colleagues, friends, neighbours all came, there were a dozen children screaming through the house. I think it was a great success, and I felt very accomplished at the end of it all. How was it possible to do so much in forty eight hours? And feel so good about it all?

Maya Turns eleven!

I lied to Maya over and over after I picked her up at school at noon. Her sister called during the drive and I prompted Maya to tell Tara that her birthday present was a trip to New York and who wanted a party anyway. I was so happy to surprise her, and although her friends did say something to her at school, it did not quite register, so Maya was unsuspecting. Maya performed in a play for the morning, which I arrived too late for and missed her lines, but I brought cupcakes to celebrate her birthday with her class. They were huge and yummy and I pretended that was all she would be doing for her birthday.

I had all sorts of errands to do between picking her up early and getting her to the party at the exact moment we were expected. Eric had picked up the cake at Grauls and brought all sorts of decorations and noise makers. I told Maya that Belina wanted her to come over to pick up her presents, so at exactly 2 PM we walked up the stairs to greet Belina, who brought Maya into the house and MAYHEM. There were colourful streamers everywhere, and confetti and noise and a massive cake and Eric, all waiting for us.

Maya was happy and the girls tore through her presents first, and then the cake and smashed cake into each others faces after learning about the Ecuadorian custom which Maya insisted on (pushing the birthday girls head in the cake). It was a massive cake and was able to take the abuse in stride. The girls were loud and wild and happy and I was delighted that Maya was surprised and appreciative.

There was little time to get to ballet, practice violin, and get to bed after opening her home presents. My little girl is 11!!!!!!

Snow Paralyzes the City!

Perhaps an inch or two and Baltimore stops functioning.

Planning a Surprise Party

So far the party remains a surprise. Maya does not have a clue. Cupcakes are ordered for a classroom treat on Friday ( half chocolate, half yellow cake, buttercream icing in different colours, and sprinkles on every one). Maya is in a play about Maria Montessori in the morning and school is over at noon. I will have enough time to pick up the cake (white or chocolate, buttercream or other icing, balloons or flowers, design for $12 or just forget the extra expense?) and deliver it to Daphne's house. Eric will purchase noise makers and streamers and confetti bombs and get them over to the house. I will pick Maya up earlier than dismissal to take her to a pilates session. I want her feet looked at and advice regarding the pain she endures with every dance class. We will visit Belina for a playdate and be surprised by the party. Lots of details. Daphne realized only after organizing the event that she had already committed to being at a different venue, so Eric will go over and get the children revved up for the surprise and to help set up. I wonder how it will work. Not my way of doing things, but Maya will be surprised and hopefully happy.

I am having a Christmas party at my house Sunday evening. Maya and Belina and I will be in New York for the weekend and arrive at the house a few hours before the guests arrive. Everyone will bring food and drink and I will provide a ham and the house and infrastructure. I think I will order a 'buche de noel'. Tara will make one for the family for Christmas, which is our tradition for a few years now, but I saw one at Grauls when ordering the birthday cake, and could not resist.

When I got home from a day at the office ( and a pilates class of course) I decided that I would take a break from my nightly yoga class and baked four dozen almond crescents and six dozen Mexican wedding cookies. There is powdered sugar all over the counters and our clothes and the floor. I am waiting for the last batch to cool so I can put them away ( I worry that mice will come visit if I leave them on the counter). I am very ready for sleep.

Monday and Tuesday

Mondays are never a struggle for me. After 28 years of practice, I still look forward to seeing my patients and solving problems. In fact, I have a more difficult time trying to manage a day off. I always have the urge to do far too much and have to make a superhuman effort to do less and try to relax. I am not yet adjusted to taking a day and a half off each week, but will keep trying (another New Year's resolution). My Monday was busy but not too much so. I had another board meeting at the end of the day. I am still trying to save this nonprofit with a voice of reason. I am not sure I enjoy the meetings, but I want to contribute in a positive way, and leave it better off than when I started with it.

It is cold in Baltimore, with some snow flurries but nothing that stays on the ground. I hear that it is dry and my skin feels tight and itchy, but the wind and the damp penetrate and I have little desire to be outside. Especially when I go to yoga class late at night, often dressed lightly because the yoga room is heated to 98 degrees. The dash from my car to the studio is painful, but not so bad when I am overheated and returning to my car.

I was worried about Eric on his motorcycle. There is definitely ice on the road in places. I have been pushing to buy a new car for weeks now, but Eric keeps saying that renting a zipcar when he needs it is cheaper than the cost of a vehicle. Today at 12:32 I received an email at work that he had been in a solo vehicle accident on Charles close to the house and had destroyed his motorcycle. An ambulance happened to be driving by and stopped to check on him. He is scraped up and bruised, but did not hit his head or lose any limbs, and he was able to push his motorcycle off the road and call Noah to pick him up. Whew. Lucky lucky man.

I think that is the end of his beloved Ducati motorcycle. He bought it two weeks before Maya was born and I remember being rather astonished that he would make an expensive purchase at such a time in his life, but I said little. He has been on his motorcycle 365 days a year, in all sorts of weather conditions and temperatures, and has taken it on long drives whenever possible. He has crashed it a few times and spent hours in the garage working on it, and has nursed it back to health several times. He loves his 'Monster' and it always gives him more joy than almost anything else. I wonder what he will do next.

I was discombobulated the rest of the day. Unsettled, unable to focus. Life is tenuous and precious and it takes just a moment for our lives to change dramatically.

Handel's Messiah

I am waking up early each morning, and I am not sure what that means. I only slept a few hours last night and was up before dawn. Eric and Maya were asleep in our big bed (which is not particularly comfortable for me, but works for both of them). I dragged Maya to a 90 minute yoga class at 9:30. She did not want to get moving, but I convinced her that she would feel so much better afterwards. She practiced next to Sid and they were both laughing throughout the class, obviously having a super good time.

I had sent Eric to Williams Sonoma to check out mixers (baking cookies with a hand held is exhausting) so we met for coffee afterwards and a family trip to Trader Joe's. Maya and I had housecleaning to do (I was really looking for my bank card which has disappeared) before going to listen to Daphne playing Handel's Messiah. I was delighted that Maya found herself far more interested than she anticipated. We were all traumatized after the concert; we had just climbed into the car, when we saw an elderly man fall flat on his face in front of our car. I jumped out and ran to him, and lifted him off the ground (he was thin and fragile) and found him bleeding copiously out of his mouth. Maya found napkins for him, and with his wife, I sat him down on a chair inside the church. His wife refused to call an ambulance. I did not think he had broken any bones, had probably bit his lip, so I finally left him to his wife and his friends. Maya was up during the night with frightful dreams about her grandfather falling and hurting himself.

We were all shook up after the incident. Noah was coming over for our third advent dinner. I had twenty minutes to cook up a chicken curry, which Eric complained was not spicy enough. I want Maya to try everything, so I moderate the amount of hot spices I use. The highlight of the evening was whipping up cream in our new mixer and smothering apfelstrudel with a massive pile of whipped cream.

Peabody Concert and Christmas Cookies

Maya's orchestra concert was the highlight of the day. My life truly revolves around Maya's schedule of activities. She leaves the house by 8 on Saturdays, today her friend Sarah came with us, we drive downtown to Peabody where Maya spends the day with a group of young musicians. She plays with a quartet, with a 'baroque band', and with an orchestra. She had a concert at 3:30 with her orchestra, so she had an especially long day practicing and playing.

I managed to get to my morning yoga class with Sid, which is 90 minutes and absolutely wonderful. Sid somehow has the ability to make me work harder and better and move in ways that hardly seem possible at my age and size. I cannot help but feel lighter and calmer and more peaceful after an hour and a half of meditative movement. I am a fan!

It was Maurice's last day with us. I have hardly seen Eric or Maurice this week. I wake up early and take care of Maya and get her to school and go to work. Maurice and Eric have usually been up half the night and try to sleep in a little and then take a 'zipcar' to work (with only a car and a motorcycle, when Eric needs a car, he rents a 'zip', which are stationed at several places in town). He picks one up and pays about ten dollars an hour, and drops it off when he is done with it. There are locations at Hopkins, so he often rides his motorcycle to work and 'zips' from there. When I get home with Maya, I take her to her classes, feed her, get her to bed, and am asleep before Eric and Maurice come home.

Maurice and Eric have been in the lab working all day and all night for the week. They had a rough few days early on, but had a great night of physiology Thursday and worked until 3 in the morning. They both look pale and exhausted. I made dinner for Maurice and Noah on Sunday when both first arrived, but have not had a meal with them since. After yoga, Eric and Maurice and I went to Miss Shirley's for brunch and then Eric dropped me off at Peabody while he drove Maurice to the airport.

Maya's concert was lovely. I am so proud of her! For our evening entertainment, we visited the Toyota dealership and tried out the new Prius. It felt so different from the one I have, I am not sure I like it. We desperately need a new car! We celebrated with Cold Stone Creamery ice cream before dinner. Maya's friend Emily came over for dinner and wild and loud games before bed. The kitchen is a disaster after chocolate chip cookies and almond biscotti and more.

Snow and Holiday Spectacular

I loved that it snowed today. Not than the snow stayed on the ground for any length of time, but the sky was white and snow was swirling around on and off this morning. It was not too cold and thus quite tolerable, and I was happy to be driving around, in the end rather aimlessly in fact. I missed my morning pilates class because I was expecting a patient at 9 who did not show up. The next one canceled, and I had no interest in doing any of the paperwork I ought to have done. My pilates teacher was ill and canceled her class ten minutes before it was to begin, but my phone died and so I did not get the message and showed up for the session anyway, only to be turned away. My yoga class was unheated, which turned out to be fine anyway.

It was time to pick Maya up before I got much accomplished. Maya had been bitten by the snake in her room and had two fang bites in her hand. We stopped at Walgreens on the way home for Neosporin and bandaids, and were just in time for ballet. I never in my wildest dreams expected Maya to be bitten by a snake in her classroom at school! I was relieved that it was not serious, clearly not venomous. But I was told that the snake was wound around her neck and chest and being a constrictor, that could be serious!

Our evening entertainment was the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra Holiday Spectacular. I did not have any idea what to expect. It was quite perfect for Maya, very child oriented except that most of the audience was elderly! There were tap dancing santas (dancers from Baltimore School for the Arts) and trickster dogs and a Liberace impersonator and lovely music with lots of Christmas music (I love anything Christmassy, including Christmas carols). The event was a hoot, with a 'Christmas in Las Vegas' theme, which reminded me of Jon Waters' movies. Maya and I laughed throughout. Maureen McGovern hosted the evening and sang some delightful songs.

Eric was home with Maurice and Sarah and her boyfriend. They were celebrating a very successful day in the lab, drinking lots and lots of Amaretto after dinner at the Brewer's Art. The Christmas tree is looking great, so very festive and welcoming.

Ladew Gardens and Topiary

Maya and I were invited to Ladew Gardens and Topiary for a 'garden show'. I had never been to a 'garden show' and had no idea what to expect. The first challenge was to find the place, which is a long way north out in the country. I remember driving by the gardens when Maya attended a horsebackriding camp one summer several years ago, but in the dark with one headlight missing, I was anxious and it felt as if we were driving and driving forever. We took Delaney Valley road past Loch Raven Reservoir and continued on a narrow road. I asked Maya to look up Google Maps on my iphone and she helped direct me. The parking lot was full, and most of the visitors were elderly, with no children at all, so Maya was a little hesitant. I did not know what to tell her about the evening, because I had no idea what to expect.

The first stop after picking up our tickets was to go to a barn where all sorts of Christmas wreaths and center pieces were for sale. They were all too lovely to make a decision about, so we walked up the hill to the house and walked through the main floor. The house was a well preserved 19C country house with a great oval library. Each room had a flower/Christmas arrangement by a local garden club. We returned to the barn to choose a centerpiece. When we drove back, we did in fact take a wrong turn and once again the Google Map app guided us back home.

It was our first garden show, a new experience and very pleasurable.

Gingerbread House

My house turned into a Funhouse today, with four wild children scrambling around. They started out calmly and quietly and planned and organized their house with much discussion. Once they put the house together, they spent a very short space of time decorating, and were running up and down the stairs playing hide and seek for the rest of the evening. Marius covered his gingerbread man with candy all over; the girls were more selective. Tara used to spend so much more time planning and designing and decorating and tasting her gingerbread house. We would often make more than one together, and with Maya, we would each have one to put together. Emily and Belina and Maya were simply more interested in playing together and the gingerbread house was just an excuse to do so.

We fed them pasta after they had all eaten most of the candy meant for the gingerbread house. Daphne came by to pick her children up, but ended up staying and eating and suddenly we were organizing a surprise birthday party for Maya. Dec 17 is a half day of school, and I will pick Maya up and go for lunch. Daphne will have Maya's school friends show up at her house at 1:30 and Maya and I will arrive at 2 PM to visit Belina, and instead, the group of girls will scream and shout and blow streamers and noise makers to celebrate her arrival. Maya knows nothing. She has not expressed interest in a party. Her original plan was to take a few friends to New York for the weekend and see a show. Only Belina can make it to New York for the weekend, so we are driving up after Maya's performance at Peabody on Saturday, stay at a nice hotel and will go to TKTS for tickets to a musical. I had suggested all sorts of ideas for a party and Maya has rejected all. She wants to go to a farm for an overnight and horsebackriding, but I did not put that together, so I wasn't sure if the weekend to New York was enough. Now that the party is happening, I am relieved that we will be celebrating the eventful day with a party!

Christmas Shopping

I had a light day as far as patients were concerned. I started my Christmas shopping online and took care a a big part of my list. Then I did actual store shopping and was not particularly successful. Perhaps I will have better luck if I sit down and carefully create a list and then shop and go through the list. Instead, I am confused and distracted and not particularly productive. In the past I make sure not to Christmas shop until the 23rd and 24th, which forces me to make immediate decisions, and that feels less painful, but this year with my parents I do not want to be too agitated and crazy those few days before Christmas, and was hoping to be better prepared.

I love everything about Christmas, except the shopping part. I would rather just eat and drink and visit with friends and family and forget the consumer part. I would be far more relaxed.

Eric and Maurice are preoccupied with the lab and physiology experiments and writing papers. This is not a social visit for Maurice, he is here to work, and so I did not see Eric or Maurice all day. I had a board meeting until late, got my yoga class done earlier, and picked Maya up from ballet and had a picnic dinner on the floor at the foot of our monster bed and Maya told me a convoluted story before falling asleep.

Christmas Music, Christmas Tree

I love waking up early on Sunday mornings. Today, Maya met her accompanist at 8, and I visited the Farmer's market to buy fresh mesclun and peppers and tomatoes and bread. I got a free coffee when I bought beans from Zeke's, and I carried it all the way back to Peabody to give to Jake. I drove as fast as I could to Towson to meet Emily at the yoga class, and was inspired by Maya who laughed with Sid all through class. Coffee at Starbucks and grocery shopping at Trader Joe's rounded out the morning.

Belina and Marius were singing with the Peabody chorus in the afternoon, so we were back at Peabody for the concert and the party afterward. I love Christmas carols, and the voices were beautiful.

Maurice flew in from Montreal for the week to work with Eric in the lab, and Noah was back from his sabbatical in Seattle for a few days, so we had dinner together and we all decorated the Christmas tree for the evening. My house feels so much more like a home now, with a living room and a dining room and a bedroom with a real bed. And Christmas is my favourite time of year!

Richard III

Richard III at the Baltimore Shakespeare Festival had great reviews and I was feeling nostalgic. Tara acted in several productions when she was in high school, and I was in the mood for Shakespeare. Emily lives a couple of blocks away from the theater, which is a transformed old church next to a cemetery. We had dinner with Emily and Robert and Nathan, lighted the menorah candles and sang a song, and walked in the cold to the theatre.

Unfortunately the play had been shortened and abridged and all the humour was cut out, so the performance was unrelentingly dark and depressing. Nathan and Maya were disturbed and uncomfortable, so we did not stay past the intermission. I would have stayed if I was there alone, but truly I wanted Maya out of the theatre long before that. I will have to try again before the end of the run, but then again, I am not so sure I want to be reminded of how evil men can be.

My day did not work out at all. I had arranged to have my car serviced at 7 AM, and was told that it would be ready in two hours, so I had hoped for a whole day to shop and get ready for my house guest. Instead, I stayed home and cleaned house, finished my office billing, waited for a phone call, and finally got the car at 3 PM. I had gone to my Toyota dealership Friday and was horrified at the price of my 80 000 mile check up and that my front light had burned out. Firestone did the job for far less, but were unable to deal with the light, so I will have to return to Toyota anyway and pay the money. I wonder if I should just trade in my car for a new one!!!! I have been eyeing a new Prius for some time now, but red this time!

By the time I had transportation, it was too late to shop and I calmed down at a yoga class before dinner at Emily's. Eric and Maya got a Christmas tree, which is huge and marvelous. We will decorate the tree tomorrow.

Nutcracker

I am sitting up high in my new massive bed. We had a double bed in Ecuador, and a queen bed for the last few months , both of which were too small for the three of us. Now I feel lost in the vastness of this monstrosity. But it is comfortable so far, and Maya is sleeping adorably beside me. The bed is much higher than I am accustomed to, so that will be an adjustment. So far, so good.

Eric visited the storage unit with a rented truck. I am not sure how he moved the couch into the house, but we now have a furnished living room and our dining room table. I have some clean up to do tomorrow, but the house feels more like our home. The carpets make it warmer, it feels lived in, cared for.

Sandi and Sarah and Maya and I chose the Baltimore School for the Arts Nutcracker for the evening. It was sold out and full of parents and siblings, and the students in the show were impressive. Tara auditioned for BSA in grade nine, and was accepted into the Theatre program, and I remember being awed by the equipment and the infrastructure. Tara chose to stay at Bryn Mawr, but I often wondered how Tara's life would have evolved if she had chosen BSA. Maya is clearly interested in the school, which may be an option for her. The children had a great time, and chattered every chance they had. We tried to find a dessert place afterward, but Donna's was closed and we could not think of anywhere to go, and I was eager to try out my new bed, so here I am, ready to try it out.

Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony

Today was simply one of those days that worked. We had Belina and Marius sleeping over, so I was up a little early to make chocolate croissants and prepare breakfast. I ran out of time and dragged Eric out of bed to make lunches, so that we were able to leave the house early and arrive at school before the doors open. A space was available for me to park in front of the school, and the children were happy, and I was able to meet my friend Emily at Evergreen to catch up.

Eric and I met at my office for a mattress buying expedition, and we were able to make a decision and buy a bed, a very nice and comfortable and expensive bed. The bed buying industry is confusing. Each mattress store sells different beds, so there is no way to compare prices. The beds online are inexpensive, but one cannot find the beds that one tries out in the stores, on the internet. The salesmen are much like car salesmen, but worse because the merchandise is not comparable (a Toyota Prius is a Toyota Prius wherever you shop). I got wildly different prices for the same item in three different 'Sleepys' stores, and finally decided to stop agonizing and looking and wasting time and energy and bought a traditional Simmons firm but soft top combination. Anything is better than the ten years sleeping in Eric's old bed, which we threw out when we moved out of the house last year. My previous bed purchases were at Costco for a few hundred dollars. Our new bed is from an entirely different universe. Our delivery arrives tomorrow, and I am feeling absolutely delighted with our new purchase.

After picking Maya up from chess club, we met her friend Emily and drove to the Tree Lighting Ceremony in Mount Vernon. It was cold and the entertainment was unimpressive, but we met Eric and then Belina and Marius and Daphne at the Walter's Museum, tried food from Cazbar, the local Turkish restaurant which offers belly dancing Friday and Saturday nights, and visited the Peabody Library where we heard flute music and warmed up, and later a child's exhibit at the Walters. The lighting ceremony was spectacular, with amazing fireworks, much more impressive than the earlier stageshow. The Christmas season has begun and I am looking forward to a tree.

I have nagged Eric for months, asking him to clear out the living room. I want my house back together, and want to decorate for Christmas. I am not sure I could have moved Eric, but his friend and collaborator is coming for a week, and that necessitates the bed and I told Eric that Maurice will not stay with us if the house is not usable. That appeared to have motivated Eric and I believe we will have a living room in the next few days. Yahoo! The storage unit is still full, but each room has a bit of furniture and it feels as if (after five months!!!) we are finally moving in.

Christmas Baking

Christmas baking has begun. My plan is to bake nightly and add to my collection of Christmas goodies. And I love to bake and I love Christmas baking most of all. So I am in my element. I came home late, after a day at the office, a run to Macy's and Bedding Barn and Sleepys to look for a new bed (we have been sleeping on the guest queen size bed, all three of us, and have a guest coming this weekend, and therefore we must give him his guest bed and we will have to buy a kingsize for the family), a ballet class and a yoga class, baked a pumpkin loaf and a cranberry loaf and a batch of 'blondies' the latter of which are very popular with Eric and Maya and her friends. Belina and Marius came to our house for the evening after school and will sleep over tonight. Julien and Daphne have evening and nighttime obligations and needed our help. I made chocolate croissants and regular croissants for breakfast as well. The house smells wonderful!

Eric is finally clearing out the living room so we can start using more of the house. I have been missing my house these months. Eric is content to live in two rooms and leave the rest of the house packed up. I want to expand and settle and get everything decorated for Christmas. I am relieved that we are having houseguests so I can use that as an excuse to get Eric to act. I got tired of nagging months ago and tried to tell myself that I can manage in a quarter of the house, but in truth I want my house back, and I hope this is the beginning of reclaiming my ever expanding space. Yahoo!

Serving on a Board

I know nothing about serving on a board and the details of a non profit organization, but have decided to volunteer my time to help a friend who has been doing it all on her own and desperately needs help and guidance. We have a board of four members, and we are at the beginning of the process of getting non profit status, which turns out to be far more complicated than I imagined. A lawyer has been involved but has done nothing so far and is charging the organization $6000!!! Catherine is the treasurer and trying to sort out the financial details, but Sharon has not kept good records and in the end, we are in the red, and are desperate for funds. We had a meeting two weeks ago and again tonight, and I find myself Vice President of the organization.

I am clearly way over my head, and of course all of us are out of our element. Catherine has a book 'Nonprofits for Dummies' and is reading it line by line and highlighting important segments. I find myself most preoccupied with ethical issues and that is not always of most relevant to the others on the board.

I wonder why I am involved with this venture. I have so much on my plate anyway and this commitment neither provides income or any significant satisfaction, yet here I am participating and contributing and writing minutes and offering opinions and I guess there must be something in it for me, which will reveal itself in time.

Twelve Hour Drive to Baltimore

Yesterday was painful but in general a successful day. We left Montreal around 1 AM after a delicious dinner of paella with Renee and Maurice, slept an hour, packed our belongings and Maya in the car, and were on our way in the wee hours of the morning. The streets in the city were not yet empty, but the freeways were clear (no snow on the ground). My GPS is not quite working, so we did get lost early on. I tried to stay up for a while, doing the New York Times crossword puzzle on Eric's iPad, but my eyes were heavy, and I fell asleep for a few hours. Eric woke me up around 6 and I drove the rest of the way home in the sunshine. The drive was easy, and I have learned that driving at night is much better than during the day, except that it is exhausting, and no one had much energy to do much for the rest of the day.

We stocked up at Trader Joe's on the way home, got organized and unpacked, and then devoted our afternoon to bed shopping, which turned out to be far more complicated than I thought. I had only ever bought inexpensive and unremarkable but serviceable beds, but this new bed of our is to be wonderful and last us for years and years. Beds can be $500 to thousands and thousands of dollars. It was difficult to decide, so we had some ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery and then Maya and I meditated at Yoga with Sid for the evening. Both of us felt marvelous after that.

Being back in Baltimore feels a little odd, after traveling so far away and back in such a short time and having experienced a different sort of universe these past few days. The office felt particularly odd. I had to deal with the police first thing in the morning ( a patient made up a prescription on the internet with my name on it and signed for me, so she is going to be charged, and I will be involved, since my name was forged) and the reality of complicated lives. I was happy to get to yoga for the 90 minute evening class, but once home with Maya asleep for the night, I directed my energies to unpacking boxes and organizing the living room, in preparation for our impending house guest.

First Snowfall

Whew! We just made it on the last metro and disembarked at our destination just in time. They closed the gates as we made it through. I was a little anxious over midnight drinks and dinner, and although Eric was relaxed and Tara did not rush us, I pushed to pay the bill and head for the nearest metro stop, maneuvered our way onto three subways, and avoided being kicked off and forced to find a cab, or worse, walk the many blocks to Renee and Maurice's home in Outrement.

I do love cities with subways. The fare is steep, and this morning, neither Eric's or my Visa cards worked in the ticket machine. I had to scrounge around the bottom of my purse for Canadian coins so I could buy three tickets. It was embarrassing but ultimately a success. I liked that we can go most anywhere in the center of town via metro, and it is efficient and comfortable.

After a breakfast of delights from the nearby boulangerie, and after a twelve hour deep sleep on the couch in the living room, I was raring to go to Old Montreal to wander about. Tara met us in front of Notre Dame cathedral and was desperate for a coffee, so we wandered around looking for a place we had discovered last time we visited, but it turned out that we chose the wrong direction. We settled on adequate coffee, and later when we walked to meet Maurice for lunch we discovered several good looking coffee places including the one we had wanted to find. When you are not looking you find all sorts of places and things you could not find when you were looking for them. Maurice suggested we meet at Jardin Nelson on Place Jacques Cartier, but it was closed for the winter, so we returned to a Creperie we had eaten at several times. Our time in Montreal is all about the food we eat! Maya and Tara had beef and cheese fondue, the rest of us tried the crepes and then we all indulged in chocolate fondue for dessert, all in all a massive meal, which helped in dealing with the incredible cold outside. It was raining early in the morning, and then the rain turned to ice so that the cars were crashing into one another and the sidewalks were treacherous. It warmed up a bit and later started snowing lightly. Winter has begun here, although we are told it has been a mild autumn.

Eric and Maya and I visited the Place de Calliere museum, which chronicles the history of Montreal from the time that the French first came. It is immediately on the banks of the St Lawrence, near the port. Renee came to pick Maya up for the evening, while Eric and I tried to walk to McGill underground. There is a way to do it, but without a map, we did not get as far as we hoped. There is an entire underground city, and theoretically if you don't wish to you need not go outside in the downtown area! We were to see Tara in her play at 8, so we were too late for a meal. Instead, we tried tea at Nocion, where Tara and I had nixed the coffee when we were on our coffee marathon. There are wonderful little middle eastern desserts, which Eric and I divided up in halves so we could taste them all.

Tara's play was very good and entirely unexpected. She played Shirley, a not too successful gangster, who hires even less competent ones and ends up dead after all sorts of mishaps and obstacles. We laughed and enjoyed it. Tara is happy and clearly in her element here, and that is most reassuring. Maya spent the evening with Renee and Maurice, playing her violin for them and engaging in a marathon Monopoly game.

Thanksgiving in Montreal

It was a little crazy to drive all night, but it was also the right decision. We were home from the movie around 10:30, said our good byes to the Benichous, and had Maya in bed in no time. I was packed and balancing my checkbook by 10, and waiting for Eric to get himself ready. I was confused that he was on the phone with his collaborator in Seattle and then with Maurice making last minute arrangements for our visit. I had thought we would be on the road already, but did not want to push, that being bad karma if I hurried him when he was not ready to drive and caused him to crash. He had forgotten his passport at his office too. I worked to be calm, and went to sleep for an hour or two until he announced himself ready to go. Maya had a pillow and blankets in the car, and hardly woke as Eric carried her down and placed her in her warm bed ( she is used to this). I fell asleep too and from 1:30 to 6:30 slipped in an out of consciousness and tried to ignore the roads and the lights and NPR and bad rock music.

I awoke behind a gas station where Eric announced he could drive no longer and had to nap. I did not think I could drive, but after bringing Maya to the bathroom in her pyjamas and discovering that we were in New York State ( I asked the attendant where we were!) I was awake and took the wheel for the next few hours, making good time as the sun rose in the pink sky and the small towns whizzed by. Maya was awake and chatted away. We stopped at Tim Hortons (EVERYWHERE here and in Canada) for oatmeal and bagels and had a short visit at the border. The Thousand Island area is quite lovely, and by then Eric was driving again and we both decided we would have to return in the summer to visit the area in a more leisurely way.

We were stuck in Brockland at a detour which took over an hour to pass, which messed up our good timing and got us to Montreal a couple of hours later than expected. When we got to Maurice's, I did not expect anyone home, so when I unlocked the door and saw a man there I screamed and screamed until I realized it was Maurice getting the place ready for us. We had lunch together and after he left, I called Tara, who was in a great mood and came to visit with us after Maya played her violin (she performed for Tara too). After spending some time catching up, we all braved the cold and walked for half an hour to St Laurent and Indian food for the evening. Tara had to be at her play by 7, so we had to eat early and she rushed off early too. The food was good and we gobbled it up before our walk back to Maurice's. It was so very cold to walk the ten or twenty blocks to their house, which made me more determined than ever to get Tara outfitted for the weather. I survived the walk, and stopped in at the nearby boulangerie to buy a tart for Renee and Maurice, but we were all too tired to wait for Maurice to come home to share it. It will have to wait until tomorrow, when we will spend as much of the day with TARa as possible. She is happy and well adjusted and we are all happy for her.

Thanksgiving Dinner, Harry Potter, Driving to Montreal

I was not sure anything would work out today, and it started a little 'off'. Maya's Thanksgiving celebration at school had been scheduled for 1 to 3 PM, so I had moved patients to make sure I could make it. But in the morning I learned that the event was to be held at noon until 2. Maya had written an invitation, which I never saw until I left for the office and it was too late to change all my appointments. I arrived at the event too late to see the performance or to eat.

We had invited the Benichous for dinner and it was Eric's job to purchase enough food for the night but no more than necessary, since we were out for the next few days. I had wanted a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with turkey, so we did have some turkey and mashed potatoes, but otherwise it did not feel too much like the usual sort of dinner I put together. It was good to see the Benichous and celebrate. A policeman came to the house to ask questions about a forged prescription, which occupied far too much of my time. I had bought tickets to the new Harry Potter movie, and Daphne and the children joined Maya's friend Emily and her father at the Senator for the almost three hour dark and gloomy picture. Maya has read the book countless times and knows every detail, and was not too disturbed by the gloominess. I am eager for the series to be over, but they have chosen to take the seventh book and divide it into two movies.

We packed off the Benichous and it took little time to get organized for our trip to Montreal. Eric needed a nap first, so I went to bed in my clothes and woke up at 1 AM. We made a bed for Maya in the back seat of the car and brought her down (still asleep) to place her there just before we drove off. It was raining furiously at the start of our journey. The roads were empty and we made good time to Pennsylvania and then to New York. It was the right decision to wait til early in the morning to drive, and Eric is not disturbed about driving long distances on minimal sleep. I try to get comfortable in the front passenger seat, but drift in and out of consciousness, and get through the journey.

Getting Packed Again

I traveled to New York with a small backpack, with little more than a change of underwear, night wear, and essential toilletries ( I wanted to feel entirely unburdened, I did not even take my computer). So unpacking was simple and easy. But now I am packing again for Montreal, where it is cold and snow is threatening. We have yet to unpack our clothes from the storage unit, so we truly have no appropriate clothes for our trip. I found gloves and hats and Maya has a ski jacket, but no boots. I am afraid we are going quite unprepared for this adventure and will stay in the house and the car and underground. I feel that I am packing and unpacking and packing and unpacking again these past weeks.

We are trying to decide when to start our long drive. I did not realize that many people are not working tomorrow. Sharon is off with her mother and brother getting ready for the feast. Emily is taking the train to New York in the morning. Maya has a big Thanksgiving feast at her school, which she has been preparing all week, and I did not want her to miss it. Eric and I are invited along with all the other parents. I like the feel of the school (although academically it is sorely inadequate, but that is another story) and want Maya to feel part of it and involved, so taking off early was not an option. I think we will have the Benichous over for a mini Thanksgiving dinner and then go to the new Harry Potter movie before we start the very long and arduous drive. I work all day, other than the lunch event at Maya's school. Several college students are here just for the day, so this is an opportunity to see them.

I dread the time in the car. The twelve hour drive is not at all fun, and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Maya will sleep and watch movies and not complain at all. I will be uncomfortable and suffer, Eric will actually enjoy himself. He likes to drive long distances, I am not sure why. I will simply be relieved to get to Montreal in one piece.

Coming Down From New York

Sunday morning in New York started with brilliant sunshine pouring into the apartment through the not so tightly closed blinds. I had been cold all night (I did not want to wash sheets so I slept on a blanket with another thin blanket covering me) and was happy to have a hot shower and warm up. I could not decide how much to clean in the apartment and decided on bleaching out the tub and washing out the sink. I swept up some of the dust and cleaned off a few tables and decided that was enough, packed up my things and left before 9. There were few people on the streets, including a few dog walkers and joggers. I walked up 7th avenue, relieved that it was not too cold and I could feel the sun shining on me. I found a Starbucks and had a leisurely coffee while I caught up with Eric by telephone and then called my friend Sandi to arrange for an evening out with the girls. I kept walking as the streets filled with people, and by the time I got to Times Square, the crowds had arrived. I knew I wanted to watch a play, but was unsure as to which one. The TKTS line was long already, and when I looked at the list of half price plays and musicals I found myself uninspired. After a day of stunning opera, I could not imagine a musical with microphones and plastic music. I was interested in 'The Merchant of Venice' with Al Pacino, but there were no half price tickets available. I walked to the theatre and found a short line of hopefuls waiting for the box office to open in an hour. I joined the group and read the New York Times on my iphone, learning that I really did want to see the play. It got great reviews all summer when it played in Central Park, Waiting was cold and painful, but I did get a good ticket when I finally got to the front of the line.

I dashed over to an exhibit on Tutankhamen, which I realized only too late that I had already seen a few years ago in Philadelphia and in Cairo before that, but I loved the exhibit and stayed too long to see the Imax movie I paid for. Luckily the theatre was across the street so I made it to a great performance. I remembered when the play started that I forgot to turn off the AC in the apartment, so I took the subway back to 7th and 13th to turn it off, and then hoped to return to the Egyptian exhibit for the movie, but for some reason the subway stopped for a half hour, and I had to rush over to Macy't to catch my bus home. It was full, and I felt lucky to get on. I wanted so much to stay and appreciate New York some more. What a wonderful weekend! I can't wait to come back with Maya and Eric! New York is marvelous, I feel like a child in a candy store, and I have felt that for years. I first started coming to New York when I lived in Montreal, and I loved it then. Ron and I visited several times, Tara loved the theatre, we both enjoyed plays every time we came, and now Maya loves the place. I think I would like to retire in New York!

I caught up with Tara and Ron on the way home. He had gone to visit and see her play, which was a great success and they were both happy with the visit. I was relieved to see Eric waiting with Maya at the bus station,which is not in a great area of the city. Maya had had a good weekend too, visiting the farmer's market, cooking lunch, seeing her friends. She had helped Eric rake the leaves, so there were piles of leaves on the grass. They will all fly away before they get bagged, but at least something was done. The yard is full of leaves, more than ever!

I was exhausted and exhilarated after my very marvelous weekend, and found being back in the office altogether too quiet and calm. I had a smattering of patients, all doing reasonably well. I had time to put charts in order, bill, take care of my plants, answer phone calls, but there were few patients, and a few who forgot to come.

Cosi fan Tutte, Carmen

Manon Lescaut

An Unremarkable Day

More Karma

I saw a patient that I had not seen for over a year and she brought me up to date on her life and her struggles. When she asked about me, I told her that I was fine being back in Baltimore but that I was disappointed that so many dishonest and hurtful people had left me wondering...I told her how betrayed I felt that a patient had used my name to forge a prescription to get drugs. The next thing I knew she was crying and apologizing and telling me that she had done it. I was stunned.

I tried to reassure her, but I am not certain as to how to proceed. I ought to call the policeman and tell him, but if I do, she will likely go to jail because she is on probation for a similar offense three years ago. On the other hand, I cannot help her if she goes to jail. My job is to help her, ease her suffering, not make it worse. On the other hand, she has broken the law and stolen my identity. I decided to do nothing for now, but I worry that if I do nothing, I could be doing the wrong thing. I am still feeling a bit surprised by the turn of events and also a little relieved that at least something is resolved, I know more.

I wish I knew what happened to Paula, the comptroller of the office, who stole 250,000 dollars and is not in jail or paying restitution. I wish I knew why the Resource Group does not want to make things right and pay back what they have stolen from me. Perhaps I just need to be satisfied that I know who forged a prescription of mine and that this person feels remorseful about it. I wonder if John the administrator at my former work place feels any guilt or regret, or if Paula wishes she had not stolen all that money.

Board Meeting

I became involved with helping out a friend with a nonprofit she had put all sorts of energy into these past few years and have found myself far more active than I imagined myself to be. I had a meeting yesterday and a longer board meeting today and am wondering what I am getting myself into. I liked volunteering in Quito and contributing in a 'notforprofit' way, so perhaps that is why I am devoting so much energy and enthusiasm to this now, although in truth I should be devoting myself to working and getting back on my feet financially. My practice is slowly growing back, but will take time. I need a website, because former patients tell me they call my former office and are told that I have disappeared and they are not forwarded to my current office. I need to get my name off the other website as soon as possible.

Today was a free day, and I enjoyed myself looking at a new Prius. I love my 50 mile per gallon vehicle, but feel silly buying a second one. Why have two identical cars in the driveway? Except that I am not particularly interested in any other cars. The Nissan Leaf is electric but not available in the state, if it was I think I would want to experiment with the new technology.

I did not know it was so fun to go car shopping. It was a wet grey day, and I slipped in and out of shiny new red and white and black Toyotas. I felt as if I was skipping school, but not guilty enough to give up the pleasure. I did not buy the car, but came home with lots of information and prices and a gorgeous brochure to share with Eric.

Maya had a violin lesson at Peabody, so I listened to her play before sending her off to her contemporary dance class. I dragged her to my office for the board meeting, but used her need to get to sleep as an excuse to get home before too late. Eric was stuck in San Diego (lucky lucky) when his plane could not take off due to fog. He enjoyed another day at the Neuroscience meeting and in the sun and is planning to return tomorrow afternoon.

Bad Karma

Somehow my return to Baltimore has been plagued with disappointment and I am not sure what it all means. My renters left three months early, took my washing machine, trashed the house and did not pay their rent. My former secretary embezzled money from the practice and stole thousands of dollars from me and the administrator does not want to tell me the truth or return the stolen money. My lawyer tells me it may be too expensive to go after the secretary or the practice. Today I learned that someone had printed a fake prescription and forged a Lortab script using my name.

I am not sure how to interpret such incredibly bad luck. What does it mean? Why me? I had little control over any of these events, but why so many reversals all at once? What is the message and what am I supposed to learn from all this?

Georgetown and the Kennedy Center

My favourite way to start Sunday mornings is to visit the Farmer's market downtown, under the Jones Falls Expressway. The thunder of the cars driving by about us joins the banjo player and the buzz of the throngs shopping for local produce. I never buy too much, but I like to take two turns past the booths and look at the fruits and vegetables. Maya is always thrilled to shop with me, but she was at Peabody for her accompanist session with Jake.

Our plan was to drive to Washington DC for a show at the Kennedy Center. It was a gorgeous sunny day, and when we arrived, we parked in the garage and walked along the Potomac to Georgetown. We passed the boathouse where Tara came to crew with her team in high school. People were strolling with their dogs and their children, and biking and running and eating outside. We stopped at a tea and spice shop, and had a difficult time leaving. We smelled and tasted spice combos and teas and a stew and Maya wanted me to buy all sorts of things, but the prices were a little outrageous. I love Georgetown and have visited many times, looking at stores, the lovely homes, the gardens, and trying out the many delightful restaurants.

We watched 'Hair' at the Kennedy Center. I did not realize that the themes were a little mature for Maya and I was dismayed when all the cast members stripped and stood naked in the middle of the stage. The language was offensive at times, and Maya did not at all approve. I am afraid that her discomfort interfered with her enjoyment of the show, and my worries about her feelings affected my enjoyment. Next time, I ought to better inform myself before I expose Maya to 'adult' entertainment. If not for my concerns for Maya, I would have enjoyed the experience fully. Revisiting the 60's and the hippie movement is very entertaining.

My hope was to visit Dumbarton Oaks and the pre columbian exhibit, but we arrived with only a few minutes to rush through the museum. I will have to return and take my time to appreciate the pieces. It took too long to get home, but we arrived in time to get to yoga and enjoy 90 minutes on the mat with Sid. Maya is amazing, is a natural yogi, and feels calm and peaceful. I loved being with her all weekend and did not want to share her with anyone.

The Leaves are Gone

I suddenly realized that after a week of brilliant fall colours, the leaves are gone and the trees are bare and winter is approaching. I wondered when Eric and I would get around to raking up all the piles of rotting leaves covering our yard. I would like to hire someone to do it, but Eric insists that we can do it ourselves, but of course I know we won't and our yard will look horrendous all winter. If I had any desire to actually go out and rake, that would fix things, but I would rather hire someone, so I am back at square one.

The sun has been shining all week, and the reds and yellows and oranges everywhere have been stunningly beautiful with a clear blue sky above, and I wonder why I do not pull out my camera and photograph, as I did all year in Ecuador. Perhaps I only take pictures when I know that I won't see a certain place again, and here in Baltimore I am accustomed to the gorgeous fall colours and take them for granted. I ought to be as enthusiastic about photographing the scenes here as anywhere else. Now the trees are denuded and the beauty has faded, and the colours are gone, so there is no need to photograph anything anyway.

It was warm and sunny and socks and coats were not necessary, and I thought going for a walk or a bike ride would be perfect, but after dropping Maya off at Peabody for the day, I met my friend Emily for a hatha yoga class, which was very basic and not too challenging. We caught up at Bonjour bakery over coffee and croissants, and I realized that I had missed Emily's birthday last week. I must remember that it is on Veterans Day November 11!!!!!!! Emily and I have been busy and have not connected for a few weeks, and must do a better job of maintaining contact. She is as busy as I am, with a son the same age as Maya and a job at Hopkins at the school of Public Health.

When I picked up Maya from a day of violin practice, she was not in the mood for any major activity. We went to a power yoga class where she is a star, and she practiced next to Sid and copied all his moves and looked marvelous. Her mood was much better after class, and we went shopping for UGGS, rather ugly but very popular and expensive shoes. Maya's shoe size is at the limit for children, so we will not be shopping in the children's section for shoes anymore. We decided to get the boots soon( they did not have the style or colour she wanted) but we would order them right away so that she could get them before we travel to Montreal so that her feet can be warm there, but they will be her birthday present.

It was a Saturday night at home with a movie. I was not in the mood to share Maya this weekend and decided against a sleepover or any social events. We wake up early in the morning tomorrow to drive to DC and visit the pre columbian exhibit at Dumbarton Oaks and see a musical at the Kennedy Center. We are taking advantage of Eric's time away to stay very busy.

Pilates Yoga and Beethoven

I force myself not to work on Friday and that is a challenge. I always end up spending a little time in the office cleaning up or organizing or answering phonecalls. Somehow not working every day does not feel quite right. It was odd that Sharon found someone to rent the office two days a week and suddenly I felt totally uncertain about sharing my space with someone else. I was worried about privacy rules regarding my patients and their charts and I hated someone else using my desk or occupying my space. I did not like that I did not know the person, that he just answered an ad on Craig's List, that he was not a psychiatrist or psychologist. I called Sharon and voiced my objections and also disagreed that I had to pay $20 extra a day for the space because I am a psychiatrist. Why is the space cheaper for a therapist if it is the same space I use? I ended up agreeing to pay the cost of the office at the therapist price but for the whole five days. I fear that Sharon is less than happy with me. I am fired up because I am learning that the Resource Group, where I worked for five years, used fraudulent billing practices, stole thousands from me each year, and now I must decide whether I want to pursue legal action or let it all go and be peaceful about it. I am upset with myself because I knew for years that the billing person was not doing a good job, but I presumed it was incompetence. I learned when I returned from Ecuador that she was embezzling money from the practice, but I have learned little else, since the administrator does not wish to reveal any details to me. It's a mess, and impacts my daily life, partly because when my patients call the Resource Group they are often told that I am no longer there but that no one knows where I am....anyway, I think Sharon got a dose of all my frustration and irritability about the decision regarding legal action, and I do not want to be stepped on or taken advantage of ever again.

For my day off, I found myself super active, with a pilates mat and reformer class and a power yoga class, which felt wonderful. I met Eric at Hopkins and drove him to the airport to catch his plane to the Neuroscience meeting in San Diego. I wish I was going with him. We once went to one of my meetings together with Maya when she was an infant and stayed at the Del Coronado, which is a lovely beachside hotel, and enjoyed exploring San Diego. Eric will see the inside of his hotel room and the convention center and likely little else.

Maya and I went to the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra for the evening. We rushed from ballet home, changed, ate standing up and Maya practiced a little violin too, before Julien showed up with Belina and her friend Lydia. Julien knows where to park and got a comp ticket for the show, while the children and I got rush tickets. Julien stayed in the Orchestra close to the stage while the children and I climbed to the tippy top of the auditorium. The acoustics were fine. A pianist from Macedonia played the Prokofiev concerto and was amazing. I came for the Eroica from Beethoven, but it was a little different from what I am used to and did not move me as I expected it to. After the concert we all went backstage and met several musicians as well as the conductor Marin Alsop. Julien is a conductor and trained at Peabody, so he knew all the musicians by first name. It was fun going backstage, but the children were exhausted. Maya was a delight during the concert, but Belina did not enjoy it and wanted to leave after the first movement and expressed her displeasure all through the concert. Next time, it will be just Maya and me, although Eric would sleep through it all and might enjoy that.

Plans plans plans

Yoga in the Middle of the Day

Sunny Fall Skies

Home Again

I wanted to walk through the streets of Old Montreal, so after meeting Tara for the best coffee we have found in the city (Cafe Myriade, near Concordia) and checking out of my hotel (Chateau Versailles, just perfect for a long weekend), I strolled through the city and down the hill to the cathedral and then to the pier. I was distracted by an exhibit at the Pointe Calliere Museum near the water, where I got caught up in the Rapa Nui and their maoi, and before I knew it Tara had finished her 'storyboard' meeting and was right outside the building ready for lunch.

I remembered being at the museum restaurant with Maya and Tara when I first brought Tara to Montreal to visit McGill when she was in high school. There is a lovely view of the St Lawrence and with sunny blue skies and shiny buildings all around, we decided to wait in line for a table and enjoy the three course meal (I had basic eggs benedict and Tara had a blini with gravlax and smoked salmon) and take a taxi back to McGill where she had to be at rehearsal by 2 and I picked up my bag and walked the five or six blocks to the 747 bus on Rene Levesque and Bishop. I had wisely collected $7 in coins, otherwise I could not have boarded and bought a ticket. The bus was full and I stood squeezed in the aisle watching more and more people come onto the bus at the next few stops. Thankfully, the Pierre Elliot Trudeau airport is 20 minutes away and it is an easy airport to manage. Not like the Toronto airport which is always a nightmare, even after millions of dollars in renovations and improvements. I will be on my plane soon and back in Baltimore before midnight. Eric and Maya will pick me up (I volunteered to take the Light Rail but Eric did not approve) and I will be back in my bed tonight and back to my (Tara describes it as 'boring') life.

Walking Home in the Dark

I am careful with Tara and watch my words, but invariably get caught up in recriminations. Despite wanting to flee through a three hour marathon discussion over coffee and muffins, it was Tara who scrambled off up to the mountain. I visited the Museum of Fine Arts and calmed down looking at Greek and Roman and Egyptian and Syrian and Iranian and pre Columbian Art. I followed Tara up the mountain to the peak, where I admired the view of the city below me. It was sunny and warm and the sky was a gorgeous blue and I was relieved not to be wet. My shoes are ruined after the past two days.

We met again in the chalet at the top and it seems that we are fine again. Tara wanted Indian food and we walked down to Parc and then to St Laurent where we tried to find the Lumiere d'Inde, but it was closed between lunch and dinner. We found a small cafe (Boui Boui) and inhaled a goat cheese salad and inferior cappuccino and walked down St Laurent to a middle eastern place we had tried my first visit here. It is actually off St Denis near the cinemas where the film festival played, I wish I could remember the name. We warmed up with mint tea and baklava and pistachio and almond cakes. Tara had a party to go to and I walked back to St Laurent to buy tickets to a Shakespeare play (Henry V) which was good enough but not great, I am afraid that I am a bit of a theatre snob after so many visits to New York and London for theatre. But I like Henry V and it felt good to be out.

I read late into the morning hours, reassured that we were gaining an hour for daylight savings time. I think that travel is the one place I can catch up on reading, there being no time at home with all the responsibilities of my life. I am transported to other worlds when I read, and I cannot put a book down, so I took advantage and read with abandon.

More Rain and Good Food

I am already sick of the incessant rain. Tara lent me her umbrella, and my alpaca coat keeps me warm. I am determined to get a coat for Tara, she is not well prepared for the impending winter. I met with Maurice and Renee for lunch near the hospital she works at (CHUM---associated with the University of Montreal). It was an amazingly good restaurant, next to the 'Lion d'Or' which is a cabaret place, I think the brasserie like place was called 'Extra'. It was fun to see and talk to Eric's friends, and catch up on our lives. I am not sure what the plans were for the afternoon, but I found myself at Renee's place for a short while, where I called up my office and took care of messages waiting for me.

Tara called asking for food, so we met near McGill at the bar at the Omni hotel, where Tara dove into a hamburger and Renee and I and later Maurice drank cocktails. Tara had a rehearsal to go to, and then Renee and Maurice decided I needed to look at warm coats, so we drove to a store called "Kanuk' which supposedly has the best coats around. I feel strongly that for Tara to enjoy Montreal winter, she has to be properly attired. A warm coat, boots, gloves, scarves, hat etc. If warm enough, she will be able to enjoy this place. She dresses as if it is still spring, and will suffer.....

The prices were outrageous, and I think that Renee figured that I was in shock and awe, so she and Maurice drove me out to the suburbs to a wonderful coop mountain wear store, where prices were more reasonable. I could not buy anything for Tara, she would not approve. I was most impressed with the longjohns, which may be part of her necessary attire. But I decided that Tara will have to shop on her own and decide what she wants. I worry that she will not bother and will struggle.....

We had dinner at Mikado, a Japanese restaurant near Maurice and Renee's condo, and enjoyed our sushi and more conversation. I think I got home after midnight, and got comfortable in my wonderful bed with more than enough pillows and chocolate treats on the bedside. I like my hotel, which feels homey and inviting.

Montreal is Wet and Cold

My alarm was to go off at 4;50, but Orbitz called me at 4, so I was up and ready to go long before 5. Eric warmed up the car and brought Maya down while still asleep, and she stretched out in the back seat. It was raining and foggy and we arrived at the airport too early. I find that every time I fly to Canada, I get going hours before I should. But once I got through security, I found myself calm and relaxed. The flight was unremarkable, except that the first plane was only a 20 seater, and flew low and slow. Toronto is a horrible airport, all new and improved and still poorly planned and sparkling but unpleasant. I knew to catch the 747 bus downtown, and walked the three blocks up Guy from Rene Levesque to Sherbrooke and my hotel for the next three days (Chateau Versailles). I met Tara along the way, looking happy and energetic, and wearing red to match my own. We had coffee at Cafe Myriade and caught up with our lives and then ate Indian for lunch. Tara is busy with school and a student run play and TV McGill and lots of friends and social activities.

I visited her in her dorm room and met her friend Hanna from Yellowknife. We had frozen yoghurt at 'Yeh' and she invited me to her rehearsal, but after being introduced to the cast and the director and sitting waiting for her to start, she came to me and asked me to leave and told me she was not comfortable with me watching her practice. I wandered through the wet streets and visited a couple pharmacies. The pharmacies here are not typical. They are full of good quality skin products and makeup and are massive and entertaining. I chose some Lindt chocolate for dessert and found my way back to my hotel room and had a bubble bath and read and fell asleep by 10. I was happy to see Tara, did not have an agenda for the weekend, but decided simply to be available and agreeable and explore Montreal in the process.

Tara is 21

Tara is 21 today. She was born at 12:14 on a Wednesday and was a perfectly beautiful baby with blonde hair and blue eyes which are now green and still beautiful. I celebrated her special day every hour and looked forward to visiting her for the weekend in Montreal. My day was not too busy, since my original plan was to travel to Montreal today to be with Tara on her special day, but she wanted to celebrate with her friends, and I decided not to interfere.

After I finished with patients, I got a haircut and a pedicure and packed and caught up with bills and work and straightened out the house and felt unusually accomplished. I always go a little overboard before a trip, getting everything done before I leave, as if I may not return.

I put together a day by day hour by hour instruction booklet together for Eric, so he does not forget anything on Maya's calendar. Maya had a soccer practice and will play her last game this weekend and also has a performance on Saturday and all sorts of social events. She is happy to be with her father and with her friends and will not miss me.

Election Day

No school, no garbage pickup, but the office is open and the banks are working. I spent an inordinate amount of time at my bank trying to get a new bankcard. I ordered it twelve days ago, but it was returned 'back to sender' for who knows why. When I called yesterday to have another one sent overnight to my work, I failed the security questions, all of which referred to 'Richters' I did not know. How could I fail my security test? So I could not get my card. I visited the bank manager to complain, to ask for a card somehow, and am hoping one will be sent overnight to the bank for tomorrow and that I can finally have a card after a few weeks.

Maya came to work with me. My officemate brought her kitty for Maya to play with, and Maya was supposed to do math work, but lost her enthusiasm for math soon after starting. I had a smattering of patients, and we had time to have Mayas hair cut and blowdried. Tuesday is the day for a violin lesson at Peabody and a 'Contemporary' dance class after a session with Hana, a peadagogy student who works with her after her lesson. I have to rush back to the office for a couple of patients and then all the way back across town to pick Maya up and return to Towson for my ballet class. Lots of driving and listening to the radio. Election results are pending.

Lazy Monday

My practice is not happening. I had a lazy day today and the rest of the week is half full. I am traveling to Montreal Thursday to celebrate Tara's 21st birthday, so I did not book Wednesday, thinking originally that I would go on her birthday. Instead, I have all this free time and that makes me nervous. I ought to enjoy it, instead I worry about paying bills.

I was able to get to a pilates class and a yoga class and a visit to the Apple store to contemplate a new laptop. Tara needs to replace her old laptop and I offered her my old one, but she decided it was not what she wanted. I am running out of space in my two year old one, and will be obliged to buy a new one in the next few months anyway. I am not sure Tara realized how expensive these things are....but her father is always willing to give her money, so she will get what she wants anyway. I guess I feel that at that age I did not get whatever I wanted and worked for things and had to delay gratification, but children today are so much more entitled. Of course, now in my 50s, I too cannot have what I want, and have to work to pay for what I want, so little has changed from my 20s. I guess I am trying to sort out my feelings about this.

Halloween and Happy Birthday

I was up early, probably because we went to bed so early, and met my friend Emily for a yoga class at 8 AM, a good time to get moving and start the day right. I was hoping to join her and Nathan for a bike ride for the first 'Cyclovia', which was a chance to ride bikes up and down Roland Avenue, which would be closed to car traffic for the morning. Instead, I met Maya and the Benichous at the Farmer's market downtown. We wandered through the stalls and chose vegetables to buy and snacked on muffins and smoothies. It was too late to ride when we were done, and Maya had a session with her accompanist Jake at Peabody at noon and a soccer game at 1 :30. I find her soccer games painful to watch because the girls have not been coached well, and are incapable of being effective in their play. They play a defensive game and are scored against many times a game. It is frustrating that in all these weeks they have yet to learn how to throw in the ball from the sidelines, or strategize or dribble the ball. I want to tell the coach to do his job, but I say nothing and just cringe. Thankfully, the season is almost over.

Halloween turned out to be a party for Julien. His birthday is on Wednesday next week. The family came over at 5, Belina and Daphne and Marius in their costumes and ready for trick or treating. We joined another friend of Maya's (Emily) with her parents Deb and Mike and while Eric and Julien stayed home to give away candy, the rest of us walked over to Roger's Forge where almost every house is lit up and giving away candy, and the children ran around in excitement. Marius was a ghost, Belina a pink and black witch, Emily an Iron woman, Daphne a dark witch, Maya a sexy witch and I was a Vampire princess. We all gathered at our house for dessert and Happy Birthday songs, and the children sat on the stairs and emptied out their candy bags, counted their hauls, traded and gave away what they did not want, and amazingly, they were so tired, we were able to get everyone out of the house and Maya in bed by 9. Whew, what a day.