Midweek

My practice has been languishing these past two weeks, and I am nervous. Johns Hopkins did not pay as much for Tara's tuition as I expected, so I have to scrounge up more money than I planned. I ought to market my practice more, but I like it just as it is. I know my patients intimately and I care about each of them and I am on top of everything. If I push for more patients, I am fearful of losing touch, of getting too distracted. I prefer quality over quantity, and like that I have time to think between patients and to pay more attention.

Eric is off to Virginia today to give some talks. He was going to ride his motorcycle but the weather threatens to be brutal, so he rented a car instead and drove the long five hours to Virginia Tech in Blacksburg. It is definitely fall here and the leaves are changing colours, but the drive would not be scenic because nothing can be seen in the rain.

Maya and I were on our own, but we kidnapped Belina for the afternoon. The children played games in my office and Belina reported to me that they had a great time and she wanted to do it again. I was not sure why it was fun for them, but I was mostly relieved. It was soccer night for Maya and no yoga for me, but somehow we both kept busy for the evening and fell into bed exhausted as usual. Maya has been fighting a cold all week and each morning has been a debate as to whether she ought to stay at home or threaten her classmates with her germs. Without a fever, she has been allowed to attend school and I believe she is actually recovering on her own. She keeps asking me what meds she could take for her sneezing and sniffling, but other than Ibuprofen, I have not been too helpful.

The weather report threatens a deluge tomorrow, and patients canceled appts for tomorrow. I am looking forward to another flood in my basement, and no way to prevent any of it, so I am not worried.

My Day Off

I made a huge effort to make today as relaxing as I could. I am challenged with a free day, and today I did well but was not perfect. Maya was sneezing and coughing and sniffling this morning so we were not sure whether she ought to go to school or not. Even driving to school, we were not certain. I asked the principal, Allison Shechter, and she agreed that without a fever, Maya was able to attend classes. Today was a short day for her anyway, since I pick her up at 1:30 to go to her violin lesson. I drove to my office to see one patient, and then changed quickly and ran across to my yoga class. It was hot and perspiration dripped off my body for the 90 minutes. Sid was teaching and he is wonderful, so I felt recharged when I left.

I luxuriated in a long shower and dressed for the day, caught up on paperwork (I can never get away from paperwork) and before I knew it, it was time to pick Maya up. She was still sniffling when I drove her to Peabody, but was find during her lesson and wanted to stay for her dance class. I had to rush across town to my office to see another patient I had not managed to change from Tuesday to Thursday. I drove back for Maya and then in the other direction for my ballet class.

My evening was devoted to data entry. I am using a new billing system at the office and am required to enter all the info on each patient to begin using the program. I guess I did not entirely get away from work. Eric looked for boxes with tax info. We deferred paying our taxes while in Ecuador and they are due in two weeks, but without the information in these boxes, we cannot do much. Where in the four storage areas should we look? Eric emptied out his office, looked in the garage, will try to get to Daphne's tomorrow and the storage unit on the weekend. We may not be able to do our taxes in time and will have to extend again. I have never filed for an extension before and am not comfortable with this, but may not have a choice.

So it is past midnight on my day off. I have exercised and done alot of paperwork. I guess that is a day off, not particularly stressful, but not entirely relaxing either. I will have to make an effort to make these days off more satisfying.

Monday Blues

Soccer Mom

Cairo Time

End of the Week

Whew, it was a 95 degree autumn day. I absolutely love the heat and find it a relief to walk outside after some hours in the airconditioned office/house/restaurant. Today is my quiet day, when I force myself NOT to work, and that is a challenge for me. I had Belina and Marius sleeping over last night. Daphne had a rehearsal to go to for the evening, so the children had baths together and all spread out on the floor in Tara's old room (now Maya's) along with Eric for a long while, taking an unusually long time to go to sleep. They all woke up early and cleaned up the room before coming downstairs for chocolate croissants and eggs and peaches. They all seemed so happy to have an adventure at our house. I ran out of gas on the way to school (forgot to fill the tank) and was afraid I would be late, but somehow, after stopping to fill up the tank, I weaved through traffic changing lanes and running yellow lights to be right on time.

My pilates mat class is at 9, so I have exactly enough time to get a coffee and then drive to Goucher College and find a parking spot and a way to get in the building. The doors are not consistently open and sometimes I am lucky, but more often than not, I have to run around to different entrances and try each of them to get in. I found a way through the swimming pool area today. I had a meeting with a couple of local lawyers who have started a nonprofit organization called 'She Matters' designed to empower young girls. Sharon, who runs the Eating Disorders of Maryland (I am the physician on the board) is networking with all sorts of groups and individuals and is hoping that EDN and She Matters can work together and support each other. I am never quite sure what my role is in these get togethers, but I listen and try to contribute as much as possible. I am getting a little tired of eating at Seven West, a Greek bistro/bar down the street from my office, but had a gyro instead of a Greek salad this time, and was full all afternoon. There was just enough time to get to Maya's school for pickup and drop off at ballet.

I visited my old office today to get patient charts. I am so sad when I visit the place. The former billing person embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars and I am trying to figure out what happened, but the reaction of the administrator and the therapists there is rather bizarre. I am not told anything and am treated as if I am the enemy. I am sure that much of my money was stolen and I do not understand why the thief is not in jail or why I am not informed of anything. Betsey would not talk to me, but Jerry was friendly, and the new secretary is polite and helpful. Michelle, who discovered the embezzlement, is distant as well. I complained bitterly for years about the embezzler when I thought she was simply incompetent and rude, but had no idea she was stealing. My complaints were never taken seriously and consequently the woman continued to steal for the five years she was there. I finally could not tolerate the place and left. She was discovered to be stealing in November after I left for Ecuador, so I really know little of how and why and what and when etc. Eric thinks I should just let it go, but I am not quite done with the place yet.

Maya has ballet and soccer Friday evenings. She was great today, aggressive with the ball and attentive and focussed, so different from the game last week when all the girls appeared sluggish and absentminded and lost 4 to 0. The coaches are not stellar, and the girls need alot of guidance. I wish Eric would coach the team, perhaps then they would figure out how to play, but he does not have the time or the inclination. Next game is Sunday, so that will take over our day.

Tara and I are talking daily, and I am so pleased that she is enjoying McGill and Montreal. She was so afraid to hate the place, and so negative that first week there. She is discovering that there are many interesting and intelligent students and she is enjoying her interactions with them and is stimulated and excited and I am so very relieved. We have decided to put aside our differences and stay in close contact and that is working for both of us. Yahoo!

Hot Fall Days

Last Day of Summer

Monday Monday

My week is not promising to be busy at all. It is almost too calm and uneventful. I am transferring all my billing work onto the computer, so I put alot of time in inputting information. This is supposed to make my life easier, but I am not convinced. And computer and paperwork is my least favourite pastime. But with all the holes in my schedule, that will have to be the work of the day and the week.

Looking for Frogs

We woke the children up early for pancakes, which they decided to eat on the porch outside. Daphne met us on Harford Road at Gunpowder State park for a walk in the forest. She had seen dozens of frogs last week and thought the children would enjoy seeing them. We did not find the frogs, but the walk was lovely, with huge boulders to scramble over, earthworms, butterflies, caterpillars, snails, dogs and their owners on the trail. It was difficult to drag Maya away for her violin session with her accompanist at Peabody, a quick lunch in the car, and a long drive to Fallston for her soccer game. It was hot and gorgeous when we found our opponents. Maya's team played badly, most of them standing around watching the ball go by. Eric went crazy trying to keep his mouth shut instead of telling everyone what to do. I was just frustrated to see Maya hanging out in the middle of the field chewing her nails.

The drive home through verdant fields and lovely country homes had Maya insistent that we move to a farm. She has been wanting to be a farmer for some time. I am so sad that we are unable to give her that experience, or that it is unlikely that we can provide that for her before she loses interest in the idea.

I like Sunday afternoon to be quiet and calming. Maya visited with Sarah for a while, and then cooked dinner ( quick Trader Joes orange chicken and broccoli). I read the New York Times cover to cover and struggled with the crossword puzzle. My yoga class was packed and hot and marvelous and then my meditation group morphed into a therapy group. I am the oldest and the most content of the bunch, and I did not like the advice that Sid gave to several of the women. I cannot meditate. I try and fail miserably. I am not sure what I am doing in the group, but I persist. I was very revved up after the class and stayed up way too late.

American Movie

I saw 'Farewell' last week at the Charles Theatre, and in contrast wanted to see George Clooney in 'The American' today. Both were movies about spies, but the styles and perspective of the two movies were entirely different. The former was about a Russian idealist who wanted to change the world by revealing secrets to the west through a French businessman. He does it for his son and for Russia, and is executed at the end although his actions change the course of Russian history forever. 'The American' is about the last days of a spy who wants to get out of the business. He spends several weeks in a hill town in Abruzzo, falls in love with a prostitute, and ultimately is killed before he makes his escape from the business. I loved watching Clooney in this very moody and morose role, with gorgeous Italy in the background. I think the reviews were rather negative. The movie moves slowly and often ploddingly. I went to both movies alone, since Eric has no desire to go to movies, and I go when I have a free moment, which does not always give me a chance to invite anyone else.

I picked Maya up from her all day music camp at Peabody and we had planned to go to the Science Museum for the later part of the day, but she received an invitation to join Belina at a block party where a moonbounce was the major attraction. I dropped her off and took advantage of the two hour time slot I had until the Benichous were to come to dinner. I rushed back downtown, found parking close by and coffee at Starbucks and enjoyed the movie. The Benichous are always late, so I was able to get things organized for dinner (I had made a peach cobbler and quiche lorraine earlier in the day) and be ready when they arrived. I had thought that Maya would sleep over with Belina so that Eric and I could go to the Turkish place in town to watch belly dancing, but the children decided to sleep at our house. We put them to bed, drank sangria and bantered for the evening. I had decided that when the children come over to play, there would be no computer games allowed. Marius cried furiously for about an hour, but finally calmed down. I was surprised that he chose to sleep over too. I wondered if he would ever forgive me. Later when the children were in bed, Eric and Julien got on their iphones and ipads and ignored Daphne and I repeatedly. I suppose I know where the children learn their habits.

Last Summer Concert

I did not work at all today (just a short while to sort out a new billing program I ordered to make billing more tolerable), and I did this very consciously. I keep telling myself that I will take a day off during the week to chill and relax and stay away from the office, but I have not quite done that yet. I dropped Maya off at school, took a pilates class, had my 72000 mile checkup for my Prius, a short shopping trip, a yoga class and then ferrying Maya about to ballet and soccer practices.

We met the Benichous at Belvedere Square, to listen to music at the last summer concert and drink sangria and eat soup and salad. There was a group of a dozen girls who knew each other, so Maya was happy, as were the adults. Julien told me he was more in love with his wife than ever, which is a good thing after years of relationship struggles, and he appeared so energized and delighted with life. We met his dentist whose wife is from Argentina and teaches Spanish. I am looking for a babysitter for Maya who is a native Spanish teacher. I don't want her to lose what she knows of Spanish.

We are all exhausted and trying to stay awake. Eric is playing on his ipad and it will be an early night.

Sailing Through

Middle of the Week

I am reorganizing my week, so that I will work Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.

Tuesdays will be light days while I pick Maya up early for a violin lesson at Peabody and later a contemporary dance class followed by my ballet class. Wednesdays tend to be packed full, but since I am only working three days, it doesn't feel too awful. In fact, the pace of the practice is perfectly reasonable, and I have time for paperwork and billing and talking to colleagues and calling up doctors and returning calls regularly.

I am falling into a schedule that works for me, and there is time for daily yoga or pilates, and time to drive Maya around, and keep the household going, although Eric and I have far too much to do to get the house in shape, and we are not getting moving on it too quickly. I think I have adjusted to our lives in Baltimore, and although I would rather be in Ecuador or Italy or traveling or independently wealthy etc, this is home and this is my life, so I am making the best of it.

Election Day

Maya' school was closed today, perhaps as a celebration of voting or democracy. I am not sure I understand why this happens. I took Maya to work for a bit this morning, and then we walked over to the mall to visit 'Crate and Barrel' and 'Pottery Barn', where we drooled over dishes and beds and desks and drapes. I wondered if there would ever be a time in my life when I could go wild in stores such as these and redesign every room in my house. Maya and I imagined painting each room in the house a different colour and refurbishing everything. It was sad that Maya was so aware that our circumstances are such that we cannot ever do anything like that, that our means are always limited and we can only dream.

We do have to paint the entire inside and outside of the house. While waiting for the roof and gutters to be repaired. Eric plans to paint room by room, but I would rather hire someone who knows what he is doing to do the job. We are still camping in the house, with two beds, a table and chairs, and little else. I am amazed that we are living as simply as we are, with no intention to unpack the hundreds of boxes in storage.

Tuesday will be a day off from now on. I have to drive Maya to a violin lesson at 2 to 3, a contemporary dance class at 5 to 6, and then dash across town to my ballet class at 7. We have accustomed ourselves to our lives here, with busy days and nights and weekends. We are busy busy busy....

Long Hours on Monday

Living with one car is complicated. I woke up early to get Maya going, and both Eric and Maya were awfully slow to get moving. Eric dropped me off before 8 so Maya could get to school by 8:15. I had a ten hour day, was not really in the mood to work so long, but I had no way to escape. Eric picked Maya up from school and got her to ballet, and picked me up much later.

I want to go out and buy another car, but we cannot afford anything at this time. So we have a motorcycle and a car, and will have to make do. I do most of the driving because I have the car, but it makes for much coordination and frequent moments of abandonment and days when I am stranded.

The day was warmer and sunnier than yesterday, but it still feels like winter is coming. I am ready to go away again. I am off to Peru in a few weeks, and am trying to plan for a Thanksgiving trip somewhere interesting. We will go to Canada for Christmas to see my parents (we love the snow!) and then it is a few months until summer vacation. It live my life from travel to trip to vacation to meeting to next adventure.

Rainy Soccer Sunday

I did not sleep well. It was raining and I was worried that the water would flood my basement, so I would wake up and wonder. In the morning I asked Eric to check downstairs to see if disaster was imminent, but it appeared that very little water had collected. Whew. Despite having no gutters and several roof tiles missing, it seemed that the ground was so dry it was soaking all the rain up and saving my basement, at least this time.

It felt cold and miserable all day. Maya had a soccer game on the other side of town, and until the last second, I expected it to be canceled, but it happened anyway, and the girls did well enough, though they lost the game. It misted throughout the game. I got home in time to read the New York Times cover to cover, and work on the crossword puzzle, which is a great way to be on a Sunday.

Our house was a mess after the party last night, and four squealing children running up and down the stairs and in every room. I think it took several loads of dishes to get the kitchen in order. Eric remembered very little about the evening. He wanted to drink alot, so he made delicious sangria, which was very thirst quenching. We all needed all day to recover.

Birthday Party

The guests have just left, except that we have four children sleeping with Maya. I cooked Ecuadorian specialities today, with 'locro de papa' and 'llapingachos' with chorizo and red onion and tomato salad with avocado. Dessert was a carrot cake (which Eric did not like). Daphne brought a bean salad, which we never actually ate, since there was too much food. The children played and ran around the house throwing pistachio nuts at each other.

We celebrated Eric's birthday today. I wanted Eric to ask many more people, but he wanted the Benichous and Noah and Susie and their children, and I asked Sarah and her mother to stay after Maya and Sarah played together all afternoon. I like to cook, and spent many hours in the kitchen (slaving away). Eric and I work well together and the party was a success. Eric wanted us all to drink alot, but he made a limited amount of sangria, which disappeared very quickly. None of the children wanted to leave at the end of the evening, so they all found clothes to wear for the night and brushed their teeth, and cuddled together on the double bed on the floor of Tara's old attic room and talked and fiddled late into the night. Marius slept on his own nearby on the floor, and Eric is up there now trying to encourage them all to sleep.

Maya moved to Tara's room some weeks ago, but has not been able to sleep there. She joins me in my bed every night, and Eric was obliged to sleep upstairs or on the floor in the living area. It is musical beds every night. So I wonder what will happen tonight.

Maya started her 'Performance Academy' at Peabody today, starting at 8:30 AM until 3:00, with chamber music and orchestra and performance and theory. I know she wishes she could do ballet at the same time, but all of her ballet is on Saturdays too, so it is either ballet or violin and for now violin wins. I like that I have the time to go to yoga class and cook all day!

I guess Eric is upstairs for the night and I have my bed all to myself!

Falling

It feels sudden, but the air has changed, and it is colder and windier and the trees are beginning to lose their leaves and winter threatens. It is remarkable that the temperature was in the 90s last week and we were worried that the children were suffering in the heat while at school. One day last week, one of my patients asked about Maya, because the county schools had closed early for the day, when it was decided that the children were in danger.

Maya wore short shorts last week and moved to jeans these past few days. She likes that there is no uniform at Montessori. I miss the neatness of the uniforms at Alberto Einstein, although the bottoms were jeans there. Maya lost her jacket the last day of school in Quito. I wanted to find the jacket but there was no time. Maya was in the habit of losing jackets quite regularly last year.

I am still trying to sort out my 'free' day. Since I never finished my billing yesterday, I hoped to get some work done today. Unfortunately, I was side tracked again. I am putting together another yoga trip to the jungle and met with Sid to decide about details. I worked on getting approval for some non generic drugs for my patients without much success. This takes an inordinate amount of time, much of it wasted listening to prompts on the phone. I spent an half hour last week on one patient's meds and discovered today that I had to do it all over again. This is the part of medicine that is absolutely no fun. I like to talk to patients, not deal with red tape.

I did get to a pilates class and discovered that my body has not weathered the year well. Whereas with ordinary everyday pursuits it is not evident that I have any neurological deficits, with the precision of pilates, the impairments are obvious. I was hoping to avoid surgery by being strong and in good shape, but with nerve and spinal cord damage, I feel helpless and defeated. I suppose I must feel thankful that I continue to function so well, that I am still doing so much, but today it became clearer that my physical health is deteriorating. I will enjoy the freedom of movement I have now for as long as possible.

Maya had a ballet class and a soccer practice. It as amusing to watch her change out of her dainty ballet outfit into her soccer shorts, pulling out her precise little bun, and roar out onto the soccer field with so much enthusiasm. We met Eric for dinner at Belvedere Square, where every Friday, the streets are closed off and a street fest takes over, with a live band and dancing and all the local restaurants setting up booths with their most popular items.

Order

I am still trying to figure out how to get order in my life. I do fine when my day is booked and I have no choice but to see patients and take care of Maya and manage the house etc. But Thursdays are paperwork days, and therefore I avoid doing any work. I took a detour after dropping Maya off to get the car washed and my toes painted, and when I arrived at the office, I took care of all sorts of tasks on my computer until I had to face the pile of billing. I stamped envelopes and put stamps on them until I had to meet my colleague for lunch. We discussed work and patients, which was useful but still not what I ought to be doing.

I finally had no choice but to start on my billing pile, but I did not accomplish much before it was time to pick Maya up. Maya and Belina and I all went to a movie at the Charles Theatre about a dancer from China who defected to the US in the 80's. We snacked on crepes and I found myself stunned at how grown up Maya and her friend were. What happened to Maya in the past year? She was the size of a football not so long ago!

Belina's mother, Daphne and I tried to organize our schedules a bit, and Julien came by to convince us to stay for dinner, but when we do dinner with the Benichous, we always go out too late and Maya is tired the next morning, so I stuck to my plan and got home in time for dinner, violin practice, bedtime for Maya, a yoga class for me (I am entirely addicted and go almost daily!), a skype date with my parents (who look wonderful!) and bed for me. I truly managed to do very little today, am still trying to manage these 'free' days more efficiently.

Eric's Birthday

We arrived home as zombies yesterday, with Eric eagerly awaiting our arrival, the house clean, and flowers to welcome us. Maya was asleep after reading to me for over an hour. My body was aching, so after a short bubble bath, I fell into bed and slept soundly until morning. It was Eric's birthday, and I could not wait to wake him up and have him open his present. I was not sure he was impressed with his new IPad, or perhaps he was worried that I spent so much money on it.

Maya gave him his 'Williams and Sonoma' oven mitt, kisses flew around, and we were off to school and work. I picked Maya up early to take her to a violin lesson. She will miss her school music class every Tuesday for a lesson. She seems happy about it and the school is not worried, so I think it will work out. Maya will have more time in the evenings to chill and pursue other activities.

I worried about Tara all day, having had a rough time with her on the weekend. She defriended me from her facebook page, which is the ultimate rejection in these times.

Dinner was at PF Chang's, which was not impressive. I wish I had chosen a better place for Eric's birthday dinner, so I think we will have to redo it later in the week. We will have a party Saturday night at the house to celebrate. Eric is fiddling with his new toy and appears pleased, but finding all sorts of bugs that have to be rectified.

Yoga calmed me and I tried to send as much love energy to Tara as I could. Sid keeps telling me this works, so every time at yoga I concentrate my energy to send good thoughts and feelings in her direction.

Long Drive Home

Driving back to Baltimore was long and arduous. We started early enough, after breakfast with Tara at the local creperie up the street. Maya and I stopped for retail therapy before the border and stocked up on maple syrup and maple syrup candy (which Maya loves). The border was blocked with traffic and it took two hours to get through, but the roads were open through most of New York State until we got to Albany and blockages became regular. Eric and I discussed getting off the 95 and taking a detour through Pennsylvania. Although that would be a long 100 mile detour, it could be a shorter route because the 95 through New Jersey was unpassable.

Maya was fine, happy to watch movies and relax. It ended up being a 14 hour marathon. I found parts of my body falling asleep and had to shake my legs up and down quite regularly. We stopped at rest places, where local people had set up bake sales and coffee for free/donation, the purpose being to keep people fed and alert on the roads. This being Labour Day weekend, there were far too many cars on the roads and many exhausted drivers.

Eric has no problem driving long distances. Lat time we did this trip, he was entirely comfortable with the 12 plus hours each way. We are thinking of driving up for Thanksgiving, and I have no intention of getting behind the wheel. I hope it was not too strenuous for Maya, being that she has been happy to read and view movies and rest. I can't believe we start work and school tomorrow morning, certainly not well rested!!!!

Short Montreal Visit

Montreal is a wonderful city, especially when the sun is shining and staying with Tara meant that we could really feel the energy of the university crowd. Maya and I slept in Tara's residence, and met Tara for breakfast at the coffee shop nearby. The muffins were 'vegan' and rather odd tasting, but the coffee is 'good enough'. We had a second 'brunch' with our friends Renee and Maurice at 'Juliet et Chocolat' which specializes in chocolate oriented meals and desserts. Imagine that chocolate was used for salad dressing. There were also crepes and 'galettes' which are a little thicker crepes made with buckwheat flour and meant to be salty as opposed to sweet crepes. Tara had plans for the afternoon, so Maya and I returned to visit with REnee and Maurice in their condo, and since it was Sunday and Maya's turn to cook for dinner, she and REnee went to the local market to buy fresh ingredients and made pounds of pesto and blueberry pies.

I decided to take in a movie at the film festival while Maya slaved away in the kitchen. When I returned, we had a tasty meal with the fresh pesto and pie. We had all expected Tara to show up for the dinner but she was busy for the afternoon and evening, so we did not see her other than a short visit before going to bed. We are hoping for more time with Tara tomorrow before we start our long drive home to Baltimore.

Driving to Montreal

The drive was long and arduous, but not horrid. I watched 'Sex and the City' far too late last night to get going at the crack of dawn, but I was up at 7 and the car was packed and we were out the door by 8. We stopped for a quick coffee and were on the 95 by 8:30, and in New York in under three hours. There was traffic, but not too bad, and we made rather incredible time.

Jonathan met us in New Jersey for coffee and a short visit, before we returned the half size and the Italian three quarter violins and paid our bill. It is always a pleasure to spend time with Jonathan, who has known Maya since she was very young and has watched her progress as a violinist and cheered from the sidelines throughout the years. He and Elizabeth, Maya's violin teacher for years, have divorced after a short two years and have a little daughter named 'Aurelia' who is not quite a year old yet. We had a misunderstanding with Elizabeth and she does not stay in contact with us. We miss her and wish she was still part of our lives.

I typed in 'Montreal' in the GPS in the Prius and this led me across the George Washington bridge and back to Manhattan. I knew I was not going the right way because my printed 'Mapquest' map suggested another route, but I wanted to trust the technology and only when I was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic in Connecticut did I call Eric to learn that I was far off track. He led me to a small country road and another highway and only after my three hour detour did I find the correct route to Montreal. I was making great time, but could not make up those lost miles/hours.

May watched movies, read to me, did exercises, ate snacks, and was altogether too easy to hang out with. I looked for NPR channels and listened to the news or eighties music and admired the beautiful countryside in northern New York state. The Adirondacks are gorgeous, and Maya and I decided we wanted a farm in the rolling hills. She laughed when I described them as mountains, they looked like bumps compared to the Andes she knows so well. Having a farm is a regular theme for her, I wonder if we can find a way to give her that experience before she grows out of wanting to be a farmer.

I liked the colour of the sky and the shape of the clouds and tried to photograph at 80 miles an hour with my iphone and am not sure I was able to catch the mood of the hills and the skies. I was entranced.

It was a relief to pass into Canada, which always feels so much more civilized to me. The ride to Montreal is not long after the border, but it was dark as we crossed the St. Lawrence and fought for a parking place on St Catherines, where the crowds were out for the night. Tara made us a salad and gave us a fashion show (we brought several bags of sheets, towels and clothes) and then we watched her get dressed for her night out and Maya and I cuddled in Tara's wonderful bed and fell asleep for the night.

Figuring Out How to Manage TIme

I am not doing well with time. When I am busy and booked, I am very efficient, but when I have 'free time', I find myself not accomplishing much. I almost forgot my dentist appt which I had canceled last week. I still have all my original teeth, yeah!

I met Emily for breakfast at 'Evergreen'. I love seeing Emily and catching up with her, she is truly my closest friend. She is super busy and always traveling; she was in Denmark and London earlier in the summer, and in Maine for half of August and camped in Assateague and western Maryland and was in New York several times, and was off to NEw Hampshire for the weekend. I am lucky to catch her between travel and work and weekends away.

I meant to get all sorts of work done at my office, but although I was busy, I got relatively little done and had to rush to get Maya at school. The line to pick her up was still awful. I did not get into it the 'right' way, so was chastised by the crossing guard and then still did not have Maya called down correctly. I suppose it will take time to figure the system out.

Maya had another trial lesson with another teacher, so we fueled up on 'Cold Stone Creamery' and enjoyed meeting 'Barb'. Our problem is that we have three great teachers to choose from, and not sure which one is the 'right' one. Maya won't make the decision because she is afraid to displease someone. I will have to decide and I have no idea what to do.

Maya and I had a date to shop for Eric's birthday and spent unholy amounts of money (Maya told me that I must have alot of money in the bank to shop so much, but she does not quite understand the concept of 'credit' and I chose not to explain too much today). We met Eric at Belvedere Square which has a big party every Friday throughout the summer, with a live band and great food and a huge crowd. We ran into Scott and Krissy and their son Graham and caught up with them. Scott had sold his company and hated his year off and was eager to work again. I explained how wonderful my year sabbatical was, and how good it feels to be back. Interesting how different 'retirement' can be for each of us.

Good food, good music, good company, wonderful Maya, I felt lucky and blessed today. It will take some time to figure out how to manage my life here, but I am moving forward.

A Day Off?

I am trying not to work Thursdays and Fridays, but somehow I find myself although not quite working, just as busy and occupied as on any other day. I met my colleague Mimi for breakfast at the Evergreen Cafe to discuss patients and decide on strategies for our most challenging ones. The Evergreen has changed owners, and looks a little different, but serves huge yummy muffins and tolerable coffee, and although I did not indulge, some genuine looking gelato.

There was time to get the car washed before I drove to Bethesda to see Ron, Tara's father, to discuss paying for college and catch up after a year away. It always feels good to see Ron, and we had lunch at Redwood, a restaurant in Bethesda amongst dozens of shops which beckoned. I had been in the area before to visit the Apple store. I remember taking a workshop there before we left for Ecuador. I keep planning to come back to shop, but shopping is never a priority for me, so it never happens.

Of course we talked too long, and I was speeding all the way back to Baltimore to arrive at Maya's school a half hour early. There was some problem at the school, so I waited an hour for Maya to be released, so we had to dash home to pick up her violin and soccer shoes and return to Peabody for a trial lesson with Christian, another possible teacher, and then to soccer practice. I could not remember how to get to the Waldorf field, so we were awfully late. Which made me late for Back to School Night where I met Eric.

I was pleased with the Montessori school and Maya's teacher. She was assessed and will be placed in Grade 6, which she does not feel confident about, but clearly is very capable of.

I needed a yoga class to clear my head at the end of the day. I feel much better but still disjointed after my day which was supposed to be relaxing but never did slow down or quite work out as planned. Time for bed and another 'free' day tomorrow.

I Like My Job

The office is back in full swing, which means patients one after the other without a break from 9 to 5 or 6. And of course I am way behind on paperwork and overwhelmed with phonecalls and demands and insurance roadblocks. On the other hand, I enjoy seeing my patients and reconnecting and hearing about their trials and tribulations over the past year. I fit this role and I like it and even though I regularly wish I was back in Ecuador, where there was less stress and more time and more energy for Maya and Eric and my life, I feel I am adjusting and recovering and accepting that this is the life that I have and I have no choice but to live it.

Eric is having a harder time, he seems sad and burdened and we are not getting along. I do my thing and he does his. He would rather be in Ecuador, working in the forest and doing his science, not dealing with all the bureaucracy and the endless list of tasks before him. I decided to trust him to take care of things last year, and so many choices he made then are hurting us now. The renters not paying their rent, not taking care of the house, water in the basement, the roof not getting fixed, the list is endless. I do not want to move into the house until the roof and the basement is taken care of, and the walls are painted and the house is liveable, but we live in it anyway, with two beds and a table and chairs and nothing else. After a year in Ecuador living so simply, I am perfectly content. But it is difficult to do much in the house when it is in such bad shape. Eric is not bothered by the smell of mold everywhere and does not believe it is a problem. I hope it is not damaging us, but I have nowhere else to go.

So I focus on work, Maya is busy with school and friends and violin and soccer and dance. She is a little irritable this week, perhaps stressed by a new school and new children and a new schedule. We met after work to discuss new violins with two teachers from Peabody and decided on a bow and a violin, so there is one less stress in my life. I wish I knew how to feel relaxed and content as I did last year and bring that into this life of stress and confusion.