Finding my Way

How do I find my place here? I am a foreigner in a strange world. I am overwhelmed with the cost of living and the busyness and the feeling that life has gone on without me and that I have been lost and can't find my way back. It is early yet, and perhaps it will take time to be present here and belong.

I liked my yoga class, I feel more present and centred there and afterward I feel so exhausted and finished I find it difficult to move forward. Maya had a good day at dance camp and felt good when I picked her up. We practiced violin together and met Daphne with Belina, Norah and Ilana at the mall for a shopping afternoon. I felt alternately at home and lost in the mall, and felt better after getting some makeup and free gifts at Nordsrom. That is a familiar feeling and spending money is not a challenge for me. I tried to go to my office and work a little but my partner is putting up new walls and the place is a mess and I could not stay for long.

Maya had a sleepover at Belina's. I returned to my large and empty house and tried to clean up and organize a bit but then felt lonely and panicky, so I jumped into my car and drove to the Charles Theatre for a movie ('The Kids are Alright') which was mildly amusing. Once home again, I couldn't sleep because I had had coffee at 4 PM and so I flipped through channels and found a mushy love story that did not move me so I tried an Argentinian movie I had bought in Quito and tried to keep up with the Spanish that I am losing rapidly. I think I got to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning.